The Same Old Story
by PartSpace
Summary: After ME2, a down-on-her-luck Shepard finds herself working for the Alliance to keep her ship afloat. What is that last rogue Collector ship up to? And then there's Kaidan. "Of all the ships on all the planets in all the galaxy, he walks into mine."
1. Vultures Everywhere

_**Hello, thanks for reading. Yes, there are lots of references and lines from a certain classic romance movie. See if you can spot them all. Comments are always welcome and encouraged.**_

**_All characters are property of Bioware._  
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Ch 1. Vultures Everywhere**

"It says here that the ship is stolen," said the alien, his big frog eyes blinking blandly at the increasingly furious human in front of him, his green face illuminated by the orange glow of his data console.

"And I told you, it isn't stolen. It's commandeered."

The alien, a member of a race called salarians, stared at the human woman a moment in silence, before lifting a brow, "How is that different?"

"I am a Spectre."

"Yes, you said, but I need to confirm your identity."

"My name is Commander Shepard."

The salarian looked back at the screen in front of him and shook his horned head, "Yes, you said that, too. It says here that Commander Shepard is dead."

The Commander's teeth gritted, her hands curling into fists, "I am not dead, I am standing right here."

"It says here you're dead," he repeated, pointing at the screen with one long finger. "And it says your ship is stolen. We aren't allowed to work on stolen goods."

One would think that a few days after saving the universe from the Collectors, people might be a bit more forgiving. The Collectors had been stealing away entire human colonies, reducing their bodies to a soup that was then fed into a large mechanic life form that would have consumed the planet Earth had Shepard not left the Collector base a floating pile of utterly destroyed debris created by a well placed nuke.

Shepard lifted her hand to rub her forehead, turning to one of her companions. "Mordin, help me out here." She had a single salarian on her diverse team of combat specialists, but as soon as the words left her mouth, she got the feeling he wasn't going to be much help.

Mordin Solus studied the other salarian, then shifted his weight to one foot, leaning to the side so that he could stare at the screen. "Can't argue. No false statements made. Ship is stolen. You are a Spectre. Also dead. Legally speaking." He sniffed, "Logic is sound."

Miranda Lawson shook her head, her dark hair falling into her eyes. She stepped in front of Mordin, "Christ, Shepard, he's trying to scam you. Give him some credits so we can get the repairs done and get out of here."

The ship had been severely damaged during the siege on the Collector base. The hull had several breeches, and the Normandy was holding itself together with kinetic shields that were draining much of the ship's energy. As soon they had passed back through the Omega-4 relay, the Normady headed to the nearest repair hub, in this case an out-of-the-way salarian colony on the planet Olar. The colony was little more than a rest stop, with numerous tourist traps and odd gift shops to entice travelers to refuel and repair there. At first the crew had considered it a stroke of luck. Salarians were renowned for their problem solving skills and technical expertise.

The salarian behind the console pursed his lips into a tight little zigzag and looked back at Shepard expectantly.

She sighed, shaking her head as she pulled out her credit chit. "Will a hundred credits help you ignore what that thing says?"

No sooner had the commander finished asking than the salarian snatched the chit from her fingers. He tapped his omni-tool, and ran the chit through the illuminated holographic scanner that popped up above his wrist. His expression soured instantly, and he handed it back. "Your chit was declined."

"What?"

Miranda rolled her eyes, holding out her own chit, "That goes to the Cerberus account, Shepard. You know he would have closed that out the moment you blew up that base."

Shepard grimaced as she took the chit and stepped back. That made sense. The Illusive Man had been less than pleased that she completely destroyed the Collector base. His speeches about saving humanity, his supposed noble reasons for bringing her back from the dead, his desire to see the Collector threat wiped out completely. All lies. Shepard hadn't trusted Cerberus from the start, and when she was asked to kill all the Collectors but keep their ship intact, his intentions were clear. All he wanted was their base and their technology, and he had used her in his attempt to get what he wanted. Cerberus desired to be the dominant force in the galaxy. Non-human races weren't the only ones at risk if Cerberus achieved its goal. Anyone who dared to cross the dangerous organization would be annihilated.

The salarian scanned Miranda's chip with his omni-tool, and his large black eyes narrowed to slits. "Your chit was denied."

"What?"

"Illusive Man," Shepard growled.

"He froze my accounts?" Miranda tapped her wrist, her own omni-tool illuminating. She spun her thin fingers through the controls, expression growing more and more furious. "My accounts, my assets, my damn investments… everything! He's cleaned out everything! He can't do that!"

The salarian tapped the keys on his console, leveling a look of utter revulsion at the three of them. "I have alerted the nearest Alliance vessel to your location. You are clearly criminals, second rate ones at that, and I don't wish to speak to you anymore."

"Illusive Man has ship stolen. Reports it as stolen. Also retaliates by taking money from former employees. Ruthless. Vindictive. What I would have done." Mordin tapped his lower lip a few times with his fingertips. "Next move? Leave. Find another port, get repairs done elsewhere. No, no. Not enough fuel, no money to pay for them. Ship in bad shape, never make another mass relay jump. Raise money. Sell unnecessary things. Anything with Cerberus logos not attached to ship, models and exotic fish in Commander's room. Not enough to cover repairs, but a start. No, ridiculous idea. Dismissed. Contact Tali's friends in quarian migrant fleet. Ask for aid after helping with Alarei."

"Mordin, take a breath before you pass out." Shepard grimaced at him. "And the quarians already thanked us for helping them; they gave us credits that were put in the Cerberus coffers." She stalked away from the mechanic's console, leading them back towards the Normandy.

"You still are a Spectre, Shepard," Miranda added, turning to sit on a bench in the shuttle bay, still twirling her fingers in her omni-tool. "Perhaps now that the Collectors have been dealt with and you've severed your ties with Cerberus in the most explosive way possible, the Council might be more willing to help you. Damn it, he got my Illium accounts, too!"

Shepard sighed, sitting beside Miranda. "Worth a shot. Admiral Anderson would have my back, at least." She leaned over, resting her elbows on her knees, rubbing her face with both hands, "For now, though, it looks like we're grounded." Shepard ran her fingers through her hair before pushing back to her feet, turning to walk back into the Normandy.

"Commander?" Joker's voice came from the bridge, turning in his chair to face her as she returned. "Why aren't we pulling to the shipyard? Why aren't they babying my baby?"

"Change of plans, Joker," Shepard murmured wearily.

"Does it have anything to do with why an Alliance battleship is radioing us asking for you?"

Already? The salarian didn't waste time. She sighed, "Patch it through to the comm room, then set up a connection with the Citadel."

"That's going to take awhile, Commander. We've been cut off from Cerberus' communication systems and high level clearance to the extranet. We're now down at the level of every other poor slob out there. Which means you're going to need to just send a message rather than a live feed, _and _we're going to need to wait until the next pulse."

"Which is?"

"Out here? Probably every six hours."

Shepard's jaw flexed cantankerously, her eyes closing. Six hours between messages. This day was just getting better and better. "Okay. We're going to be here awhile. Let the crew know. There might be some time killing attractions in a place like this. They're off duty until oh-eight-hundred hours."

"Sweet, Commander. I hear they have the galaxy's largest phlegm ball here. Cross that shit off my bucket list."

Shepard strode out of the bridge and through the CIC towards the comm room at the back of the ship. It would appear that an Alliance vessel was close, which wasn't all that surprising. Plenty of Alliance ships patrolled the edge of the Terminus System, as far as both the Council and human's influence reached. There were many human colonies out here, along with pirates and slavers. The military would be slow to realize that the geth and the Collectors were no longer a threat.

The doors closed behind her, and she crossed her arms, "EDI, give me the call." She sucked in a breath, "This is Commander Jane Shepard of the Normandy. I'm uploading my identification code."

"Commander. Is that still your title?" came a woman's voice on the other end. "This is Captain Amelia Halabi of the SSV Crerar, pulling into Port Olar now. I understand you're in possession of a stolen ship."

Shepard bent over to rest her throbbing head on the cool, flat surface of the conference table. "Yeah. I'm dead, too. You've probably heard that." She stood up straight again. "This ship formally was property of the terrorist organization known as Cerberus. I took possession of it, acting as a Spectre working on behalf of the Council."

"Our records say you are working for Cerberus."

"Your records are outdated." She drummed her knuckles on the tabletop, grimacing. "While you're at it, also update them with the fact that both the geth and the Collectors have been eliminated as threats against humanity." She smiled grimly, "I've had a busy few months."

The captain of the Crerar didn't have a barbed reply to that. There was a long pause before she spoke again, "Permission to board your vessel, Commander. Perhaps we should discuss these developments face to face."

Shepard raised a brow. "Granted, Captain."

"Thank you, Commander. Halabi out."

Shepard rolled her shoulders back and rocked her head from side to side, feeling her spine pop and creak. This might be a good turn of events, considering her current situation. Her relationship with the Alliance was never clearly defined after her resurrection. She _was_ dead, after all. While she had managed to have her Spectre status reinstated with the Council, aside from Admiral Anderson she hadn't met with any Alliance leaders to find out if she was still among their ranks. There were more pressing concerns at the time.

She puffed her cheeks and let out an exhale, turning back towards the Normandy's CIC. Then again, she'd just invited the Alliance onto her stolen ship after spending the last few months working for a terrorist organization. So really, it could go either way.

After a thoughtful pause, she changed course, tapping the door control that lead her into the weapons room. Her eyes fell on Jacob Taylor in his usual spot, bent over a computer console. Kasumi had pointed out many times, and Shepard was inclined to agree, the man cut an impressive figure. Broad shouldered and dark skinned, every muscle on his body was toned to perfection. Kasumi's preferred term was _Adonis_. "Jacob. I need you to back me up. Alliance is coming aboard."


	2. Everybody Comes To Shepard's

**Ch 2. Everybody Comes to Shepard's**

Captain Amelia Halabi stepped through the threshold and onto the Normandy with a stern expression. Her dark hair was pulled back in a tight bun, brown eyes narrowed, hands folded behind her back. Her uniform was crisp and free of wrinkles or lint, and her backbone was rigid, as if standing at ease was a pointless exercise rarely performed. This woman was hardcore military, that much was obvious. Joker felt bad for anyone serving on her ship.

Joker was watching with interest from the bridge the Normandy, his pilot's seat spun to face the airlock. He wasn't particularly looking forward to dealing with any Alliance brass. Shepard's Yeoman Kelly Chambers had sprinted to the front of the ship to stand beside the pilot and also to get a good look at the Captain. Joker leaned closer to Kelly as Halabi stepped into the ship's interior, whispering, "She walks like she's trying to hold a cherry pit between her ass cheeks."

Kelly elbowed him with a horrified expression.

Shepard stepped forward as Captain Halabi cleared the threshold, holding out her hand, "Captain. I'm Commander Shepard, this is Jacob Taylor. Welcome aboard the Normandy. Can I-"

"This isn't the Normandy," Halabi said, glancing past Joker and Kelly at the ship's controls, then back to Shepard. "The Normandy was an Alliance vessel that was destroyed in a Collector attack." Halabi lifted her chin a bit, and then glanced behind her, "As both the Commanders are aware."

The Captain did not come alone. Several steps behind her were her own Lieutenant and Commander. The Lieutenant was a young pale woman that Shepard didn't recognize. The SSV Crerar's Commander was Kaidan Alenko.

Shepard's eyes widened when the man stepped into view, but she managed to keep her mouth from falling open. _Of all the ships on all the planets in all the galaxy, he walks into mine_. The last she'd seen of him was that painful reunion on Horizon. She, Garrus, and Miranda had driven the Collectors from the colony, and one the few people the creatures had left behind was her former teammate, lieutenant, and lover Kaidan Alenko.

Her other former squad mates had joined her almost without question. They had simply accepted the fact that she was alive and the same commander they had followed two short years earlier. Kaidan, on the other hand, had asked many questions and then refused to listen to her answers. She'd been dead for two years, and one day she reappeared alive and well. He was at first amazed, but his amazement turned to suspicion and outrage. He accused her of abandoning the Alliance, abandoning _him_, then left her standing alone and in shock. And now here he was, standing on the new Normandy, drawing in a slow deep breath has his dark eyes settled on her.

Shepard blinked a few times, schooling her expression back to something more neutral, "No, Captain," she said slowly, looking back at the woman. "It's not. The original Normandy was destroyed. This is a replica, named for nostalgic reasons." She glanced back Kaidan, "Commander Alenko. I didn't expect to see you."

Kaidan nodded, dropping his gaze, murmuring in a low formal voice, "Commander Shepard."

Halabi glanced between the two of them, and then motioned to the other member of her crew, "You know the Commander. And this is Lieutenant Tamara Bester. Is there somewhere we can talk privately?" Her gaze had locked on Jacob a few moments. He was standing at attention, and offered the Captain a salute that went ignored.

Shepard exhaled, "We have a conference room towards the back of the ship, and Mr. Taylor is former Alliance."

"I would prefer to speak with the Commander only," Halabi murmured, dark eyes flitting back to Shepard.

Shepard could almost hear Jacob's muscles tensing in irritation. She closed her eyes a moment, quickly wetting her lips with her tongue. _They're being cautious_, she told herself. _It's not personal, it's Cerberus._ "Of course, Captain," she said at last, motioning to the back of the ship. "If you'll follow me?" Her hand rested on Jacob's arm briefly as she passed him, a touch to calm him. She had this under control.

Kaidan trailed behind the women, gaze lingering on Jacob a bit too long, wrinkle appearing in his brow. He walked slowly, taking in every detail of the new Normandy. In many aspects, it was a remarkable duplicate of the original. Every feature, every minutia had been updated or upgraded. But the layout and style was still the same, unmistakably turian. More than Shepard had been raised from the dead.

Shepard led the trio of Alliance soldiers into the comm room, the door closing behind them. "EDI, chairs please." Panels in the walls opened, and four chairs slid out and into position beside the table.

"EDI?" Halabi asked with a thin brow arched.

"The ship's computer," Shepard said, motioning to the chairs. A technical lie by omission. She didn't need to tell them EDI was an artificial intelligence. Those were still dangerous and illegal. She wasn't in any rush to tell them she had a geth down in the AI core, either.

Halabi sat, folding her hands on the table before her, leveling her gaze on Shepard. "So you claim to have severed all ties with Cerberus."

Shepard looked back at Kaidan. She kept looking at him. She really needed to stop, but she couldn't help it. This time she told herself it was to gage his reaction to this meeting. She saw his lips tighten, has gaze dropping to his folded hands. Was he unhappy with his new captain, or did he just not want to be here? He'd never been a difficult man to read, but he seemed to be trying very hard to remain poker faced. "It's not a claim, it's a fact," Shepard said, looking back at Halabi. "We found the Collector base on the other side of the Omega-4 relay. The leader of Cerberus asked that after I kill all life forms inside, the base itself would be saved for him. I refused. The base was destroyed."

"All life forms, Commander?" Lieutenant Bester spoke at last. "Weren't there humans inside the Collector ship?"

Commander Shepard exhaled, grimacing. "The Collectors had killed nearly all the humans they kidnapped. We reached the base in time to save the lives of my stolen crew. Everyone else had been reduced to a sludge of genetic material that was being fed into a human-Reaper hybrid."

All eyes on the opposite end of the table widened. "A human-Reaper hybrid, Commander?" Alenko finally asked in disbelief.

"It was also destroyed," Shepard said, locking eyes with him. "They were building a new Reaper. That's why they were taking entire colonies. They were harvesting us, trying to remake the Reapers using our genetic material. Maybe to make them stronger. But the fact remains that the Collectors are no longer a threat, and it's time to focus on the Reapers," she added, looking back at Halabi.

Halabi's expression was neutral again, steepling her fingers under her chin. "You mentioned the geth over the radio."

The commander nodded, "The geth that we've been battling are a splinter group, separate from the rest of the geth and acting independently. Believe it or not, it was something of a math error that made this group split off from the rest of the geth, worship the Reapers, and actively try to help them and Saren by attacking us."

"A math error," Halabi repeated.

"The error was corrected. The heretic geth no longer exist."

"But geth still do," Bester said, her brows pulling together.

Once again, Shepard glanced at Kaidan. He was leaning back in his seat, his expression changing. It was warming into appreciative awe. Of course she's done all that. Passed through the relay, killed all the Collectors, and rewritten the geth. She was still Commander Shepard. She drew in a breath and nodded, looking back at Bester, "Yes. Geth that don't wish to war with humanity and are perfectly content to stay beyond the Veil. In fact, they might be allies if we turn this opportunity to our advantage."

"Commander," Kaidan spoke again, leaning forward, his dark eyes on her. "While I don't doubt that you have done all these incredible things, knowing your history and knowing personally how you operate," he spread his hands, "I think the chief concern is where your loyalties lie. Much of the Alliance brass thinks you faked your death and have been working for Cerberus all this time."

"After all, the only person who saw you 'die' is now- or rather '_was'_ working for Cerberus as well," Halabi added.

She felt a frown etching her face as she watched him, a slow rage boiling up. Is that what he thought? Shepard laid her hands upon the table, gaze sharp on him. "I died with the Normandy. Last thing I remember is hitting the release on Joker's escape pod and seeing a Collector particle beam inches from my face. I woke up to find that two years had passed, and that my body was recovered and reconstructed by Cerberus, and they expected me to pay off the debt. Cerberus wanted me to track down and attain the Collector base. In the end, I refused."

"You could have given the Alliance the base," Halabi murmured thoughtfully.

Shepard sighed with annoyance, "Had the option been available at the time, I probably would have. But when I turned to the Council and to the Alliance for help, I was looked upon with suspicion and largely ignored." Her intense gaze was on Kaidan again. "Someone who claims to know me personally and how I operate should know that I would do absolutely nothing to endanger the Alliance, humanity, or any other peaceful race in this galaxy."

He had turned a deep shade of crimson, mouth a tight line, gaze averted. He slid his hands into his lap and looked to Halabi, "Is the Captain satisfied?"

"Not entirely," Halabi said slowly, her own dark eyes playing between Shepard and Alenko. "But it will have to suffice." The woman drew in a deep breath, sitting up a bit straighter, "Commander Shepard, I regret to inform you that the Collector threat has not entirely been eradicated. You may have destroyed the base, but there is still a ship operating somewhere in the galaxy. It might be the very last ship carrying the very last Collectors."

Shepard's brow knitted as she looked back at Halabi. "When was it last spotted?"

"Three days ago," Lt. Bester said, fingers running over her omni-tool. "I'm uploading the information and coordinates to your ship. It was reported as floating over a human colony, close enough to be witnessed from the planet's surface. Just hanging in space, not moving, not attacking, not sending in swarms, not doing anything. For hours. The SSV Midway responded to the distress call from the colony, and when it began to move closer, the Collector ship disappeared."

Three days ago. After she destroyed the base? It was moving in to take another colony of humans and just stopped, then retreated. Shepard glanced yet again to Alenko, who was still avoiding her gaze, and then back to Halabi, "Are you asking me to go after this Collector ship?"

"We're asking you to collaborate with us in bringing it down, yes. We've been watching the Omega-4 relay, waiting for the ship to appear and try to retreat back to its base." Halabi shrugged, "Instead our sensors picked up you, coming through the other way."

"And you followed me here," Shepard answered slowly, leaning back in her chair.

"Well, you didn't go far, with the state your ship is in. This planet called for Alliance aid, seeing as it seemed to be a human affair, and we were the closest ones to respond." A slow, humorless smile appeared on Halabi's face. "Sounds like fate to me."

Shepard found herself disliking Halabi immensely. "I see." She rubbed her eyes wearily, shaking her head, "So… just to make sure I follow. Months ago, I come to the Council and the Alliance wanting help and am told by both that none will be provided. I help to chase off the Collector threat on Horizon," she motioned to Kaidan with a hand, "despite the fact neither the Council nor the Alliance wanted to team up then either. And after I went out and put my entire team at risk going through the Omega-4 relay to take care of the problem everyone else said was minor or imaginary,you come to me _now _and expect me to go ahead and help you?"

Halabi's vague smile never left her face, "I was under the impression, Commander, that you didn't care who you were working for, so long as you were doing the right thing."

"Captain…" Kaidan spoke again, staring hard at a swirl in the table's imitation wood grain. "That's unfair."

"Commander, I'll ask you to hold your comments at this time," Halabi said quickly and icily. She looked back at Shepard, "I understand that you're in a bit of a spot here, Shepard. We can have this ship's stolen status removed so that you can have your repairs made. We can also verify your Spectre status with the salarian. All I ask is that the SSV Crerar and the Normandy work together on this one mission."

Shepard dropped her gaze, but her eyes slid slowly across the table, staring at the buttons on Alenko's uniform. Willing herself not to look him in the eye. "Where was the ship last spotted?"

"A colony you should be familiar with. Eden Prime."


	3. Cards On The Table

**_I wasn't going to post this until Monday, since I should be working on my midterm. But Aya001 and Commander Alenko have asked for more so politely that I'll go ahead and throw up another chapter today. Also thanks to Impslave and jp33 for favoriting and everyone else who added alerts. Next chapter will come tomorrow. Unless I get something in the area of 30 reviews asking for more instantly. I'm a pushover like that.  
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**Ch 3. Cards On the Table**

"Collector ship still out there. Interesting. Should be captured for study, not destroyed."

Shepard looked across the table at Mordin, her chin in her hand, expression weary. "Why not destroyed? They're Collectors."

"Collector base destroyed, with it the Collector leader. Queen, if you will. Using Earth insect metaphor. Collectors no longer have hive. No longer have queen. No longer have directions. No longer have purpose." He sniffed. "Will die off on own. Starve."

"But their technology," Tali said thoughtfully. "That's valuable, especially to the Alliance. It's worth going after the ship for that alone."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, studying the faces around the table in the comm room. It took a little time to assemble her team after the Alliance had left. Zaeed, for one, had done off in search of a decent pub, a quest that had taken him far from the dock and left him sorely disappointed. "I told the Captain of the Crerar I wasn't going to make any kind of decision until I talked with you," she motioned towards them with a hand. "We're not in the most ideal situation at the moment. Our next move is going to be hampered by our current obstacles, whatever it is we decide to do next. I want everyone's input."

Miranda shook her head, leaning back in her chair as she steepled her fingers, "I don't feel comfortable working with the Alliance."

"Yeah, Shepard." Jack sucked her teeth, face twisting up. "Some of us are kind of on the wrong side of the law. Me, Kasumi, Thane, Zaeed. I'm sure they got files on us and wouldn't hesitate to take us in. Cheerleader, too."

"Me?" Miranda sat up and looked over at Jack in surprise, "I haven't done anything."

"You're Cerberus. You've worked with them a hell of a lot longer than any of us." A slow wicked grin grew on Jack's face, "You, missy, are a terrorist."

Jacob shook his head, "The Alliance asked for the Normandy's help, not just Shepard's. I don't see them making a half dozen arrests when this mission is complete. And if they try, we don't let them. Simple as that."

Thane tilted his head at Shepard, hands folded under his chin, "I have no concerns working with the Alliance, Commander. We cannot remain here on Olar forever, and if they are offering us a means to leave, I vote we accept."

"Ditto," Kasumi added. "This place is duller than an elcor nursing home,"

"We do have other concerns to tackle, Shepard," Miranda said. "The Illusive Man cleared out my personal accounts as a matter of petty revenge, but it would appear that everyone else's has remained untouched. For the moment."

Zaeed snorted, "If he'd touched any of my damn money, he'd jump to the top of the list of men that need to die by my hand."

"We are no longer working for Cerberus, which means no one here is getting paid," Miranda continued as if never interrupted. "We now have an entire crew to finance and no means to do so. Some of them might no longer be interested in working here if they aren't getting a paycheck."

"And vigilantism pays crap," Garrus added, lifting a shoulder.

"Most of them have families to support," Miranda said, crossing her arms. "We are going to need to let all of them know what is going on and let them decide if they want to stay or go."

Shepard let out a sigh, looking at the squad gathered around her table. "Miranda makes a good point. Starting with all of you. Every person sitting here helped to stop the Collectors and no one got left behind. I could use you all against the Reapers, but for now everything is uncertain. We're going to need to come up with ways not only to fund things like fuel, tolls, and upkeep but also basic supplies for everyone on board. If anyone wants to take off now or when we get to Eden Prime, this might be a good opportunity to bow out. But I hope you will come back when we go after the Reapers. With any luck, when that moment arrives we'll be prepared."

There was very brief silence around the table as her squad mates exchanged glances. Grunt leapt to his feet, thunderous voice rattling the walls, "I will feast upon the flesh of our enemies before I abandon my battle master!"

"We have access to funds," Legion chirped. "We have done extensive research of the stock markets on Illuim and should be able to predict the best investments for maximum profit. We are also able to hack into various accounts to find more. Shepard Commander needs only point to those she wants to access."

"I have a few projects that I moved to the backburner when I joined up, Shep," Kasumi murmured, smiling, "After we take this Collector ship down, a quick detour and we'll have plenty of spending credits."

"You know my vow," Samara said in her low even tones. "As for funds, remember your friend, Dr. T'Soni." Her calm, unblinking gaze settled on Shepard. "She owes you much and would not hesitate for a moment in sending you whatever aid you will require." This was true. Liara had assumed the role of the Shadow Broker, and her credits could very well now be limitless.

"If Saren, the geth, Sovereign, and the Collectors didn't stop us or scare us off, debt sure as hell isn't going to either, Shepard." Garrus nodded his head to her, his mandibles turning up in a grin. "Debt collectors, that's another story. But come on. We're a team."

Shepard smiled, looking at each of them in turn, gaze lingering a bit longer on Garrus. When she first started this mission for Cerberus, finding the turian had been an immense relief. Finally she had someone on board that she could trust. She'd nearly gotten him killed and still sometimes felt a pang of guilt when looking at the jagged scars that ran along one side of his face. She'd helped him find peace by leading him to the man who had betrayed him and stepping out of the way of his bullet. It wasn't long before her old friend Tali had joined, and Shepard had been surprised by how much the girl had grown up in the past two years. The number of people she could trust had grown, one at a time, and now included every person sitting at the table, from the justicar to the assassin.

She chuckled and looked to Miranda, "All right then, that was easy. Miranda, talk to the crew, let them know the situation. Anyone who remains on the Normandy is going to have their needs met, but I can't promise a steady paycheck or funds to send home. I doubt all of them will be staying, so we need to be ready to pick up the slack before heading out. Most of them will probably want to ride along with Eden Prime rather than hop off here."

"Of course, Commander."

Shepard rose, "All right. The Alliance is covering our repairs in exchange for our help. They should be complete in 48 hours. Be ready to ship out then."

The room emptied noisily. Zaeed linked arms with Jack as they departed, insisting they make their own fun on this dull rock. Jacob rose and frowned, his hands resting on the table as he looked back at the commander. Silence returned when only the two of them remained. "Commander."

"Yes, Jacob?"

He watched her, lips pressed together. "You're sure you're doing this for the right reasons?"

She turned to him, brow wrinkled. "I don't follow."

He drew in a deep breath, clasping his hands behind his back. "I know you weren't happy about how things turned out with the Alliance. Correct me if I'm wrong, Shepard, but I think you still wish you were in the ranks. Hell, I saw your asari friend bringing those old dog tags of yours on board." He cocked his head at her, "You think that helping them out now like this is somehow going to get you right with them again?"

Shepard watched him a long moment, brown eyes searching his face. "I'm not you, Jacob. I am not judging your choice to leave and join Cerberus, but the joining up was the best thing that ever happened to me." It was a way out of the dead end that was the old Tenth Street Reds. Cold evenings spend smoking in the dark of Rotary Park, planning the nights' trouble while watching Alliance ships descend over Lake Ontario, all lights and possibility. "I've spent my entire adult life in the service. I never saw myself leaving the military."

"Me neither, Shepard," he replied, crossing his arms and resting his hip against the edge of the table. "But we both know it's foolish to think that the plans we make for the rest of our lives are going to stick. At least not without a few hiccups."

"Like dying."

Jacob lowered his chin, "So if you want to get back with the Alliance, what does that mean for all the rest of us?"

"Jacob."

He motioned with a hand, "I mean, we all have sacrificed a lot to be here. And we all just promised to keep on sacrificing."

"I know, Jacob, and I am not abandoning anyone." Though someone else seemed to think she had a habit of abandonment.

"I'd never think you would, Shepard." He exhaled and shook his head, "Not intentionally. You're going to have to make some tough choices."

"Like I haven't already," she smirked.

Jacob chuckled and nodded, "Right. I guess I mean more. You are going to do what's right, I know that. But we've been lucky so far, you've only had to pick between right and wrong. I just think the day is coming that you're going to need to pick between right and right. And people are going to get hurt." His black coffee eyes found hers. "I guess I'm just saying you can't have it all."

Shepard stared back at him. The idea of rejoining the Alliance seemed like such a remote possibility she hadn't even fully considered it. As she turned the idea over in her mind now, it didn't seem like the best option. Jacob was right, it would leave this crew in the lurch, and she'd lose her freedom to fly wherever she wanted to and deal with whatever problems arose. Of course, she didn't exactly have that freedom now, did she? "I am not abandoning anyone," she repeated.

"You might not have the luxury of that choice, Commander," he said in a low voice, then stepped back. "You know where to find me if you need me."


	4. For Old Time's Sake

_**I got an incredible response on Sunday's post. Thanks for all the alerts, keep 'em coming. For the moment I'm alternating updates with my other story, so there should be a new chapter every other day, RL permitting. Comments motivate me to write more and update faster. Just sayin'. Also appearing in this chapter: Jacob, Garrus, Tali, and the character who is rapidly becoming my favorite to write for: Mordin.**_

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**Ch 4. For Old Time's Sake**

Shepard sat with her eyes closed, feeling the gentle rocking against the turbulence as the shuttle lowered towards Eden Prime. The SSV Crerar had landed at the large human colony the previous day, and she was descending to meet them. And Kaidan. But she was absolutely not thinking about Kaidan. At all. Or the birthmark on his shoulder blade that looked vaguely like a turtle with its head tucked into its shell. Or the scent of his face right after he shaved. Or the tingles he left on her skin when he didn't.

Her head dropped as she exhaled. _God damn it_.

There had been enough distractions during her missions these past few months to keep him out of her head. Most of the time. She'd focused much of her attention on solving everyone else's problems. But damn if she didn't miss him the night before passing through that relay. She'd read his message over and over. He was apologetic for what he'd said but still so cautious. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as he thought. Maybe that was just her own wishful thinking. Shepard had sat there, alone in her quarters, thinking about calling him, messaging him back, _something_. Her fingers had rested frozen on the keys. _I couldn't bear it if I lost you again_, he'd written. Here she was, on a suicide mission. She had the figurative balls to lead her team into the fray, but not to say goodbye to the one that she loved. With a shuddering breath, she'd pushed herself away from her desk and his picture, hanging her head. _I couldn't bear it if I lost you again_. As far as he needed to know, if she didn't make it back from this mission she just disappeared through the Omega-4 relay.

But she'd survived.

Shepard stood and stepped closer to the doors, resting her head against the window to watch the ground race up to meet the shuttle.

The vehicle was almost full. She'd brought along Garrus and Tali, along with Jacob and Mordin. The salarian doctor might turn up something the Alliance missed that would allow them to pick up the Collectors' trail. Jacob was familiar with Eden Prime having served here during his time with the Alliance. In a surprising turn the asari justicar, Samara, had also stepped onto the shuttle without a word. The rest of the ship was made up of former Cerberus crew. Those with families, mostly, who would not be returning to the Normandy. Shepard had already written glowing recommendations for all of them, divided up most of the credits Legion had been able to hack out of her old Cerberus accounts amongst them, and wished them luck.

"Everything all right, Shepard?" She looked over, catching Garrus watching her carefully. That night before the relay she'd ended up with him, drinking and trading war stories in the mess hall.

"Anxious," came her quick response. "We need to finish these Collectors off already."

"I hear that," Jacob murmured, eyes narrowed on the colony below.

Garrus' gaze on her was dubious.

There was a bump as the shuttle landed at last, and she gripped one of the handlebars to keep her balance, stepping out once the door opened.

From the looks of it, Eden Prime had recovered completely from the geth attack two years prior. It was a thriving colony, one of humanity's first. The air was fresh and clean, filled with the scent of blooming flowers. It was a completely different smell than Shepard's last visit. Then it was torched bodies.

She's lost Jenkins here, and gained Ashley Williams.

At the end of the landing bay walkway, she spied Kaidan and Bester. He was smiling at something Bester had just finished saying to him, rolling his dark eyes. In the bright natural light his hair had a chestnut sheen, and she was flooded with the sudden memory of the smell of his pomade. She'd teased him about it once, laying on the bed, watching him get dressed. He'd answered by rubbing his head into her bare stomach and making her squeal with laughter. It had left his hair tousled and sticking up in every direction, and he dared her to let him leave her quarters looking like that.

_Jesus, Shepard, snap the hell out of it. _She walked closer, looking over Bester casually. She was a petite woman with short cropped blond hair, wearing thick Alliance armor, just like Kaidan.

Aside from one slinky evening dress, Shepard no longer had any clothing not emblazoned with the Cerberus logo, and buying something new seemed frivolous with their current financial state. Tali had offered more than once to burn the logo off Shepard's armor using her omni-tool, but the commander politely declined. Approaching the Alliance Commander and Lieutenant, however, she suddenly felt strangely self conscious, and fought the urge to explain why she was still wearing the insignia.

"Commander, Lieutenant," Jacob said formally, offering them both a salute that was politely returned.

Shepard motioned behind her, "This is Doctor Mordin Solus. He's done some research on Collectors and their technology. Mr. Taylor, you've met. Lieutenant, this is Garrus Vakarian and Tali'zorah. Aaand…" She trailed off, rising up on her toes to search the crowd for that familiar shade of blue. "I swear Samara was right behind us…"

She turned back to see Tali hugging an embarrassed Kaidan. "You never answered my messages!" She stepped back to look up at him, pointing a finger, admonishing, "You disappeared! You aren't allowed to do that again."

He smiled crookedly, "Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, I was… keeping busy."

Garrus, meanwhile, had been with Shepard at Horizon and witnessed the difficult reunion. He crossed his arms and nodded, greeting his former team mate with a much cooler, "Commander Alenko."

"Wasting time," Mordin said quickly, already looking to the bright blue sky. "Trail already cold. Investigations must begin immediately. Salutations can wait."

"Right," Jacob nodded, "We should head to where the ship was spotted. It's ballsy, their going after a colony this big and well protected."

"We thought so too," Bester nodded, turning on a heel to lead them from the port. "They had previously stuck to the edge of the Terminus Systems from all accounts. It's possible they were scouting. Or were actually preparing to attack. But like the Captain told Commander Shepard, it just appeared out of nowhere, hovered for over two hours, and then was gone again."

"It never sent in the swarms? No Collectors actually came down to the surface?" Shepard asked.

"No," Kaidan said, "Nothing. Maybe they were trying to send in the swarms and something went wrong. The base was destroyed about the same time. Chances are the two events are connected."

"Highly likely. Many possibilities. Could speculate all day. Pointless without more data," Mordin said in his usual rapid fire cadence.

Bester lead them to a waiting six wheeled off road military vehicle, it's top retracted to give the passengers a clear view of the cloudless blue sky. Shepard paused, turning to look for Samara once more, before climbing inside, squeezing in between Garrus and Jacob in the back. No sign of the asari. "She'll turn up, Shepard," Jacob said, reading her thoughts. "Don't think we could get rid of her that easy if we wanted to."

The vehicle sped down the well paved road; past shops and office buildings built low so as not to interfere with the scenic vistas. Businesses turned to houses, then into rolling fields of corn, soy, and blooming canola. Several fields were being watered by a system of irrigation sprinklers, and the strong winds sprayed a cool mist into Shepard's face as the car sped past.

Tali had leaned forward in between Bester and Kaidan in the front seat, cheerfully quizzing Kaidan. "So are you an Alliance special operative now?"

"Sometimes?" Kaidan looked over at her, gaze flitting to Shepard, then back to the quarian. "I mean… there were certain missions they asked me to go on."

"Like this one?"

"I-… yeah."

"Did you know you would run into us?"

Kaidan's mouth hung open, his brain not quite ready to let the words out yet. He closed his mouth, eyes narrowing in thought. His lips twisted up and he looked back at the masked woman, "I was aware of the possibility. We were both going after the same target."

"The Collectors," Tali said, as if to remind him.

"Yes."

"Their base was awful. I had to crawl through the ventilation tunnels to open the doors so that everyone else could get through. I still haven't gotten the smell completely out of that scarf."

"I'm sure the mission would have been a loss without you," Kaidan answered, a slow smile crossing his features as he watched Tali.

"You should have been there, Alenko," Garrus murmured a bit too casually, his arms still crossed. He winced at Shepard's elbow in his ribs. "Ow."

Kaidan turned to look at Garrus, his lips pulled back in a grimace before turning to face forward in his seat again. "Yeah, Garrus, I know."

Tali spun to give Garrus a look that was obscured by her dark visor, but the intent of the look was obvious when she followed it with a kick to the turian's knee. "Ow, stop it!"

More green hills passed in awkward silence, before Mordin finally spoke, "Suffocating under weight of elephant in room. Human expression. Believe I used it correctly. Are we there yet?"

"Damn near," Bester said in the strained voice of a woman trying to contain laughter. The vehicle turned, off the paved road and up a dirt path, around a rocky outcrop and stopping before a magnificent view of the colony.

"Shit…" Jacob said slowly, standing up in the back of the vehicle, looking around a bit wide eyed.

Shepard had been here before. She stood up as well, staring at the clearing. It had changed since she saw it last, but not much. The trees were taller, the dig site was a little larger, and the dragon's teeth were gone, but this was the spot where the Prothean beacon was discovered two years ago.

"Yeah," Kaidan said with a frown, sliding out of the car. "It can't be a coincidence."

"The beacon," Jacob said, hopping out and walking towards the dig site where a handful of archeologists were working with painstaking care. "It was right here. I remember watching them pull it off this spot when I was stationed here."

Bester pointed to the sky above the ancient stone marker where the beacon had previously rested undisturbed for thousands of years, "The ship was hovering right here."

"Prothean ruin," Mordin said, his large eyes narrowing. "Can't be coincidence. No such thing. No. Came here when base was destroyed. Same day. Why? When exactly? Very important. Very. What hour was base destroyed, what hour was ship here?"

"We got out of there at oh-two-hundred, Alliance time," Jacob answered, referring to his omni-tool.

Bester glanced at her own, "And the ship was spotted here at nineteen-hundred."

Mordin shook his head a little, "Ship came after base destroyed. After leader destroyed. After it lost direction from Harbinger. Not possible. Not possible."

"It came here on its own," Shepard murmured, staring at the sky.

"Not possible!" Mordin said again, pacing towards the dig site. "Jumping to conclusions. Collectors were mindless drones! Following orders. Unable to think on own. Genetically engineered to do Reaper's bidding."

"Genetically engineered from Protheans," Garrus added, crouching to stare at the ruins.

"No, no. Latent orders. Following old orders. Find human colony. Found one. Stopped and waited for more orders. Nothing of Protheans left in them."

Bester raised her hand, "Could we catch the soldiers up, please?"

"Harbinger is a Reaper. EDI found evidence of his existence when we pulled information off another Collector ship," Tali said, bringing a Reaper schematic up on her omni-tool. "The Reapers genetically modified Protheans and turned them into Collectors."

"Holy shit," Bester whispered, squinting at the display.

"Like the Keepers," Kaidan said, looking over Tali's shoulder.

"Exactly. From files on the Collector base, aaand a few memorable fire fights, we learned that Harbinger was assuming direct control of the Collectors himself." She paused, and then amended, "Itself. Via some sort of antenna in the base."

"Base destroyed, Harbinger's control shattered." Mordin was now in the dig site, picking through a few rocks, earning an angry shout from one of the archeologists.

"Be nice to have Liara here about now," Kaidan sighed, crossing his arms. "How sure are we that the Collectors don't remember anything about being Protheans?"

"I don't know," Shepard said, looking over at him. "They only seem to share a genetic link. I guess it would be like asking what we remember about being monkeys."

"We had considered another possibility, and it seems even more likely now if they're fumbling in the dark." Kaidan's dark gaze was on Shepard now. "They might have been looking for you."

"Ah, possible." Mordin slipped under the strings bordering the dig site, walking back to them. "Yes. They wanted Shepard. For years."

Kaidan nodded, pointing off to the tree lined horizon, "And that is where we first saw Sovereign."

"Yes, far more likely." Mordin said with a nod, curling his fingers under his flat chin. "Revert to default programming. Find and kill Shepard. Threat to Reapers. Have no information to go on to find her. Retrace steps. Follow old trail. First known location." He sniffed. "Eden Prime."

Shepard's gaze snapped to Kaidan, "We went to the Citadel next."

Bester tapped her ear, stepping away from the rest of them, "This is Lt. Bester. We need to increase Alliance presence at the Citadel."

Jacob shook his head, leaning back against a tree. "Even mindless Collectors should know better than to show up there. If they're smart enough to run when an Alliance gunship shows up, they aren't going to go anywhere near the Citadel."

"We went to Therum next," Tali said.

"Then Noveria, Feros…" Garrus nodded.

"Virmire," Kaidan added, his eyes still on Shepard.

She let out a sigh, "I vote we cut to the chase and meet them at Ilos."

Bester lowered her arm, frowning over at Shepard, "An Alliance ship can't go to the Attican Traverse, Commander. If we even enter the Hoc or the Refuge Systems it would be considered an act of war."

"Looks like we're going to need to split up, then," Garrus said, his voice a low rumble. "Damn shame."

Kaidan rocked his head back to stare at the heavens, "Oh, the Captain isn't going to like this at all."

"She doesn't seem like the kind of person who likes much of anything." Jacob raised a brow.

"She doesn't." Bester frowned, looking over at him. "She's a grade-A hard assed bitch, but she knows what she's doing. One of the most competent captains I've ever served under, but I would hate to meet her in a dark alley, that's for damn sure."

"So the Crerar heads to Therum, Noveria and Feros," Tali said slowly, brushing an insect off her visor. "And the Normandy to Virmire and Ilos. Maybe she'll let the two of you ride along with us. This is a joint effort, after all."

"That… might actually be the ideal scenario," Bester answered, blinking at the quarian. She looked to Kaidan, "We'll introduce the idea to Halabi. We should head back."

"Shotgun," Tali called suddenly, as if she had been waiting for the opportunity. Without a moment's hesitation she sprinted back towards the vehicle before anyone could protest, relegating Kaidan to the back seat with Shepard.


	5. There Are Other Places

_**Hello again. Very special thanks today to Made Nightwing who spotted a continuity error. Other thanks to commentors RayneEthelwulf, **_**_HarmlessWampa, and that anonymous Blarg. Love to Kira76 who favorited, and aaall you alert folks. Thanks. Garrus gets all the good lines/references to that mystery classic film that I'm sure you've already figured out. Also, POV shift to Kaidan at last. Anyhoo. Keep those comments coming, and enjoy._  
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**Ch 5. There Are Other Places**

Samara has been waiting for them at the shuttle when they returned. "This is my first visit to a human colony," she offered in way of explanation. "I wished to walk amongst the people and observe."

The ship felt oddly empty upon Shepard's return. Joker remained, of course, as did Kelly, Dr. Chakwas, Ken, Gabby, a few others among the crew. Miranda had already worked with EDI to pick up the slack for those who departed.

"I expect mission reports every twelve hours," Captain Halabi reminded Shepard after agreeing to the plan, and both Bester and Alenko boarded the Normandy an hour later.

"You need to stop giving him the stink-eye," Shepard told Garrus in the mess while awaiting the Alliance soldiers arrivals.

"He deserves the stink-eye," Garrus replied testily. "He deserves my foot up his ass, too, but I am being a gentleman."

"He apologized for Horizon."

"I wouldn't bring up Horizon if I were you, it's poor salesmanship."

Shepard sighed, resting her head in her hand, watching the scowling turian. "While I appreciate your looking out for me like the big brother I never had, please Garrus. Lay off him. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."

Garrus looked at her for a long moment, not saying anything. Finally he let out an exhale, hanging his frilled head, "Yes, ma'am."

Shepard was now leaning against the wall in the elevator with both Bester and Alenko, giving them the nickel tour. "We've already set a course for Virmire, but ideally we won't need to land. From what I've managed to gather, the planet should be deserted, aside from the random pirate or mercenary stopped there. We'll run a scan, look for suspicious activity or anomalies. If there hasn't been any, it's on to Ilos." She pushed off the wall as the doors opened, "And this is the deck with the medical bay, the mess, crew quarters are just here." She motioned with a hand, "Feel free to make yourselves comfortable."

Bester reached out to take Alenko's duffel bag from him, "I've got this Commander," she said to him, walking backwards towards the cabins, "Why don't you go and get some chow?"

Kaidan begin to protest, but his Lieutenant had already disappeared behind the cabin doors, leaving him alone with Shepard for the first time. He turned to look at her, his brows pulled together. "So…"

"So."

He dropped his gaze, hands folding behind his back as he shifted from foot to foot. "The… ah. New Normandy."

"Kaidan."

"She's a fine ship. Joker made me sit in his chair when we came on just now. Leather, he was quick to point out. Then I met EDI." He looked down the hall, then back at her, "She's no VI."

"Some of the new features and faces on this ship aren't strictly legal. I hope that won't be an issue."

"An AI, Shepard? You're free of Cerberus, you think it's wise to keep that thing on board?"

"We're down half our staff, and she's saved our lives on more than one occasion. We are aware of the possibility that the Illusive Man is still spying on us through her, and we're being careful. But with the situation we've got ourselves in, we're short on alternatives. Besides, Legion could tell you that AI's don't enjoy being shut down."

"Legion?"

Shepard sighed, rocking on her heels. "Legion is our active geth ally, just down the hall."

Kaidan's shoulders sagged, "Jesus, Shepard. I can only look the other way so far before my neck snaps."

"I brought you on because I trust you, Kaidan."

"Like you trust your AI?" His tone was accusatory. "And your geth and Cerberus operatives and-"

"I trust EDI and Legion and Miranda and Jacob, yes. They are good people that trust me back or they wouldn't be here, simple as that." She shook her head, "You never second guessed me when I brought on Garrus or Liara."

"That was different. _You _were different," he spat back, eyes narrowed.

Shepard threw her hands up in surrender. "Fine, if you want to believe that, go ahead. I am not arguing with you anymore."

"You said they completely reconstructed you, how do you know they didn't change anything or-or stick some chip in your head? Some means of controlling you?"

"They said they didn't. That they wanted the exact same person I was before."

"What, and you believed them?"

She frowned, watching him. "You tell me. What is so different? What is this big change you insist is so obvious that no longer makes me the person you knew?"

He fell silent then, chocolate brown eyes running over her face, then down over the contours of her body. He dropped his chin and closed his eyes. "Shepard…"

The door to the lounge at the far end of the hall opened with a hiss, and Kasumi Soto stepped out, and then froze in place when she spied the two of them. "Oh. I am so sorry. Wow. Hi." She cleared her throat, "The one time I decide not to prance around cloaked, huh?" She slid down the hall, hugging the wall, "I am just going to go grab a snack, and leave this room with a gorgeous view, comfortable seating, and alcoholic beverages completely empty until we get to Virmire. That is what I am going to do." The petite thief spun and disappeared into the mess hall.

First Tali, now Kasumi. She could swear they were conspiring together. Shepard shook her head, looking back at Kaidan, releasing a long exhale as she searched in vain for something to say.

Kaidan had straightened, and was stepping back from her. "If it's all right with you Commander, I'd like to just… wander the ship for a bit."

Shepard nodded, wrapping her fingers around a knot that had appeared on the back of her neck, "Yeah."

He nodded to her, avoiding her gaze, then turned and walked away.

Shepard felt herself deflating the further he went. She growled at herself, rubbing her face with both hands, her steps taking her to the mess hall, where she found not only Kasumi, but Jack and Tali as well, huddled together at a table. "Christ, you _are _conspiring. What is this, high school?"

Kasumi leaned back, "I'm sorry, Shep, I didn't mean to interrupt. Did I ruin the moment?"

"There was no moment." She slipped behind the counter, opening up the refrigeration unit, searching its contents.

"I'll tell you what, Shepard," Jack said, hooking an arm over the back of her chair, "He's not the type I'd go for, but he's damn good looking. Got the kind of eyebrows you just want to lick."

Shepard stood up straight, looking over at the convict. "Wow."

Tali rested her chin in her hands, "I always liked his voice. And his mouth. I mean," she looked over at Shepard, stammering, "I'm not trying-… I mean… I'm just agreeing that he's cute. For a human, that's all I'm saying."

Shepard shook her head, opening up a vacuum sealed package of pineapple. "Keep it up, Tali, and our next stop is going to be wherever Kal'Reegar is stationed."

Jack cackled, leaning close to the suddenly silent Tali, trying to see through the helmet, "How can you tell if a quarian is blushing?"

"You can't," Tali answered quickly.

Jack snorted, hopping to her feet, "Look, Commander, just get him alone and jump his bones. Work out the whole _feelings _shit later, after all that tension is eased."

Shepard closed her eyes, massaging her temple. "Again, wow. Thank you, Jack. Can we focus on the Collector ship?"

Jack stood before her, looking her over. She crossed her arms and lowered her voice, "Hey. You've gone out of your way to help me out with the painful shit in my past. Nobody does that for you."

Shepard lifted her head, surprised by Jack. The woman always kept her at an arm's length, questioning her motives for being so friendly. She'd bonded a little with Zaeed, but still would rather be off by herself, a holdover from her younger days of being locked away with little human contact. Kelly has advised Shepard not to be disappointed if she didn't see much improvement in Jack. The damage from that sort of childhood trauma was permanent.

Jack shrugged her tattooed shoulders, "Just saying." She took a morsel of pineapple from Shepard's bag, popped it in her mouth then turned to head back to her hidey hole.

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"You are Commander Alenko."

Kaidan sat up, spinning to look over his shoulder, watching an ethereal asari walk towards him. He'd wandered much of the ship, and while it wasn't completely staffed, too many people had wanted to talk to him. Running into Garrus had been especially difficult.

"How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that," Garrus had said the moment Kaidan had stumbled into his room at the front of the ship. He didn't even turn around from his console. "Someday they may be scarce." Kaidan beat a hasty and wordless retreat, feeling a migraine flare up.

He'd found the observation deck silent and empty. He flicked off the lights and settled himself down into one of the chairs and just watched the stars drift, waiting for the throbbing in his head to subside. He was half dozing when the asari found him.

"I am the Justicar Samara. I did not mean to disturb you. No, please," she lifted a hand as he began to rise, shaking her head. "I wish only to enjoy the quiet and the void. If you will allow me to join you?"

Kaidan nodded, resting his elbows on his knees, "Of course," he murmured, watching her. The justicar moved with otherworldly poise as she sat in the center of the floor, cross legged, a biotic shield illuminating around her body.

"If you wish to speak, I shall listen. If you wish to remain undisturbed, I shall be silent beside you."

Kaidan felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he leaned back, relaxing again. Shepard had collected an interesting and diverse crew. He had only met a handful of them, but he liked Samara instantly. As for her outfit, well. Did all justicars dress like that? Not that he was going to complain. "Thank you, Justicar," he said softly.

Samara smiled faintly in reply, dipping her head in a nod before sitting perfectly still on the floor.

For awhile, the only sounds in the room were the low purr of her biotics and the distant hum of the ship's engines. Kaidan rested his chin in his palm, elbow propped up on the back of his chair, gaze shifting between the view and the asari. He spoke at last, voice low, "I've read about the justicars. A book my friend recommended to me. _Sisters of_-… no, _Sisters without Mercy_."

Samara smiled again, her cool voice carrying a hint of amusement, "Romantic historical fiction."

Kaidan chuckled, nodding, shifting to sit more comfortably in his seat, "Yeah. I should have known better. The friend who recommended it is a big asari fan."

"An asari fan, Commander?" she questioned, biotic shield fading as her eyes focused on him.

"He… well. The asari fascinate a lot of people."

"But not you."

"Not to that extent, no." He winced a little at himself, "I mean… they're fascinating as a people, as a culture, but… you know, other people think of them in only… certain ways. Not that it's wrong, I just-"

"I understand, Commander," she said, again with amusement. "And it is refreshing. We can change the topic, if you like."

He grinned crookedly then nodded, "I would like that, thank you. But… right, justicars. From what I understand of them, they deal with only with asari affairs. What brings you all the way out here?"

Samara lifted her head, eyes half closing as she formed her words, "When the Code was written asari affairs were the only affairs to be concerned with. The galaxy is larger than the asari now, and innocents who require justice and protection live beyond the reach of one race or government. I am bound by the Code, not lines in the proverbial sand."

"That's admirable, Justicar."

"Admirable?" she asked, her brows lifting.

"It's probably second nature to you now, but most people have a hard time just doing what is right, or even figuring out what's right without stopping to question themselves, analyze all the problems involved, the repercussions… hell, when we were stuck in the Citadel before Ilos…" His smile and voice faded. He ran a hand through his hair, and motioned to her, "I can see why you and the Commander teamed up, I think you have that in common."

The justicar watched him in silence a long moment. She rose, stepping closer to the window. "It is difficult for you to be here."

"I-… yeah." He frowned, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. "Old wounds opening up again."

"They are fresh." She glanced at him. "Two years is far from old, but that might just be a matter of perspective."

Kaidan sighed, folding his hands on his chest. "I just… I don't know what to make of any of this right now. I didn't think it would be this difficult."

"As you said," she murmured. "Some people have a hard time doing what they know is right. Too busy questioning themselves, over analyzing all the problems involved, the repercussions."

He chuckled wryly. "Touché, Justicar."

Samara watched him with a faint smile that never seemed to reach her tranquil eyes. "We have another friend in common. Liara T'soni."

"You know Liara?"

"We met a few times since my joining Commander Shepard." Samara's gaze dropped momentarily then turned back to the void. "I am concerned for her."

Kaidan sat upright, "Why? What's wrong?"

"These days she has buried herself in secrets and mysteries of a more contemporary nature. But I worry that she may be consumed by them, and there is little I can do."

"I don't understand."

"It is not my place to divulge any more. I mentioned you in my last message to her. If she wishes to contact you, she will, but do not be hurt if she does not. That seems far more likely." Her head tilted a little to the side, expression thoughtful. "I like Liara. She is a brilliant girl. I wonder if perhaps I am thinking of her too much as a replacement for what I have lost. So I worry for her. Wish to protect her from darkness when I ultimately cannot."

"Liara is a good person," Kaidan murmured. "With good people looking out for her. I'm sure she can weather the storm."

Samara smiled again, "A fitting metaphor, Commander."


	6. Welcome Back To The Fight

_**Have you ever read something and then come across a passage that strikes you as so glaringly wrong that it completely pulls you out of the story? Well, gentle reader, I have done this to reviewer Iverness with my interpretation of TIM, and for that I am truly sorry. Kudara left a lovely comment, and for that I thankful. I am happy to take the criticism with the love and use them to make a better story next time. Though I have no idea what the next story will be. Suggestions? As always, enjoy!**_

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**Ch 6. Welcome Back to the Fight**

"If there has been radio chatter detected, you should go down to the planet's surface."

Shepard sucked her lips into her mouth, then released them with a pop, "There is no Collector ship anywhere near Virmire, nor do there seem to be any Collectors on the planet itself, Captain Halabi. The only people who might be there are there illegally. Pirates and slavers."

"Pirates and slavers who may have witnessed a Collector ship."

Shepard's eyes narrowed at the ceiling, speaking back to the disembodied voice over the loudspeaker, "You want me to find and interrogate them?" she asked the Captain.

"There are no Collectors here at Noveria. No one has seen anything out of the ordinary here and they are quite eager for us to leave. Commander Alenko and Lt. Bester are there on my orders, and my orders to them are to investigate Virmire's surface."

Shepard stared down at the galaxy map, and then glanced over at Kelly. The yeoman shrugged. "You'll get to shoot at pirates and slavers. That always cheers you up."

The SSV Crerar had already visited Therum and arrived at Noveria in the time it took the Normandy to make the long trek to Virmire. The planet was in a political hot zone, too close to batarian dictatorships for Council colonization. Until the highly unlikely diplomatic talks began, Virmire remained unsettled. There was also the large crater in Virmire's northwest hemisphere, courtesy of a nuclear bomb armed by Alenko and guarded by Shepard.

It was where she lost Ashley Williams.

Shepard's face scrunched up. This was turning into a wild goose chase. She should have gone to Ilos first, but that would have doubled the entire round trip in length. Hopping from relay to relay wasn't as easy as connecting two dots. The Mu Relay was knocked off course thanks to an asteroid, and its new position made it easier to get into Ilos' system than out. The conduit that was once on Ilos leading back to the Citadel was an obvious security risk and was destroyed. They'd have to pass through several relays in very hostile space in a complex math equation to make it back in a timely matter. Normandy's cloaking system would come in handy there. The safer alternate route of using FTL travel to the next closest mass relay could take a month. Virmire was to be the Normandy's first stop.

"Very well, Captain. We'll be taking a shuttle to Virmire and will report upon our return."

"Thank you Commander. That wasn't so difficult, was it? Halabi signing out."

Shepard grimaced, and then smirked when Kelly repeated in a sing song voice, "Shooting pirates and slavers! Pew pew!"

* * *

Shepard stepped off the shuttle and into the heavy downpour and lush jungle of Virmire. They were about a click away from the detonation spot, and why whatever lowlife picked this area to hunker down in was beyond her. She moved past the blossoming plants, pebbles crunching beneath her boots as she came upon a wide shallow river. Of course they'd landed during the rainy season.

"Is there any leftover radiation we should worry about?" Bester was asking.

"No," Kaidan answered. "The nuke was to destroy Saren's base, not every life form on this planet. We wanted to do as little damage to the natural environment and climate, so we used a 146-NG, which has low levels of residual radiation."

"Salarian technology," Mordin said quickly, leaning closer to examine a large pink flower that smelled like a combination of gardenias and week old mayonnaise.

"And the pirates rolled on back in within a year," Jacob murmured, checking the sights on his rifle.

"Halabi wants to find out if the Collector ship was ever here, which means witness statements. Fire back if fired upon, but we aren't here to clear them out." Shepard smirked a little, "We can do that after interrogations."

The five of them walked in silence along the riverbank for twenty minutes before they saw the batarian ship. It was an old cargo vessel, its large door folded down into a ramp, a pair of armed batarians standing in the hold's doorway and out of the rain, occasionally firing at pod crabs scuttling along the surf. Shepard silently signaled her team to cover behind a grouping of jagged rocks. Even from here she could see it was an empty ship. They were either unloading or picking up.

"Cover me." She stood up from cover, her pulse rifle raised as she stepped closer to the batarian ship. "Spectre! Drop your weapons! Now!"

The two men in the ship sputtered, startled, and rounded to face the Spectre. Rather unsurprisingly, they did not follow her directions. They began firing at her, backing away into the ship. The few shots they got off bounced harmlessly off her kinetic shields. Shepard was quick to return fire and in the next moment the batarians were both dead, dropping to the dirty hold floor, dark blood pooling around them. Two batarian raiders stood no chance against four Alliance trained soldiers and one salarian ex-special operative.

The team jogged into the ship for a quick survey. The hold was empty aside from caked-in filth, with narrow benches bolted to the walls and a few buckets underneath. Bester made a sound of disgust, covering her nose after looking in a bucket. "Shit," she muttered. "Literally. These are slavers."

"Damn," Jacob slid to the cockpit, tapping a few keys on the pilot's console and scrolling through the flight records. "Looks like Virmire's turned into a minor slave exchange location."

"Humans?" Kaidan asked, looking over Jacob's shoulder.

"On this shipment, yeah." Jacob turned to step out of the cockpit, "Forty of them. And the buyer hasn't picked them up yet."

Shepard nodded, scanning the ship briefly. She'd seen worse. Forty people could at the very least comfortably fit in the hold, not that the conditions were ideal. She trotted back onto the beach, squinting in the rain. "I think we've found our witnesses. New objective, take out the slavers and secure the slaves. Bester, see if you can radio in a non-Alliance vessel to pick these people up. I doubt they'd be eager to hop back on this thing if we can avoid it." She motioned at the small batarian vessel.

"Yes, Commander."

Mordin tapped his omni-tool, "EDI sent updated aerial maps. Two camps nearby. East and north. Suggest splitting up."

"Right. Mordin and Bester with me, Jacob and Kaidan take the east. Keep radio contact."

"Aye, Commander."

Shepard watched the two men run up the beach, and turned to sprint north, Mordin and Bester in tow, following a muddy tire tread path into the jungle. The heavy foliage gave some solace from the rain, but the mud sucked at her feet and made the trek slower and clumsier. She ducked under a low hanging branch, and stumbled a bit at a sudden wet rocky decline, catching her balance by grabbing onto the branch in a tight grip. The ground dropped here, a steep edge over a gentler slope about eight feet down, leading to a grassy clearing. Shepard quickly pulled herself back into the cover of the brush.

Bester pointed to a trio of trailers and a Mako vehicle in the clearing, "There." It was a small camp, populated by about ten batarians huddled together under a canopy. A few crates circled the camp, containing what had to be smuggled goods.

Shepard slid behind a tree, folding her geth pulse rifle into a smaller, more compact size, drawing out her M-98 Widow sniper rifle.

Bester did the same, settling her sniper rifle in the split of a tree, wiping the rain from her face and leaning forward to stare through the scope.

"Mordin, looks like that container by the Mako is full of fuel. Think you can do some damage with that?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Absolutely." The salarian fiddled with the controls of his omni-tool. "Flammable. Excellent distraction."

"So… you and the commander have a history."

Shepard blinked and looked over at the lieutenant. Bester still stood perfectly still, pale blue eye watching the slavers intently through her scope.

"Bad time to ask. Sorry. Curiosity killed the cat." Bester glanced at Shepard.

Shepard arched a brow, "Kind of a bad time, yeah. Mordin, hit it."

There was a bright flash from Mordin's omni-tool, and then a terrific explosion from the fuel cells. The slaver's Mako flipped onto one side, and sniper rifles could barely be heard over the shouts of pain and alarm.

"Got three, going in for close range," Bester called out, locking the sniper rifle back into position on her back, pulling out an M-76 assault rifle as she hopped over the tree and moved in closer, sliding down the edge of the sharp hill. Several batarian slavers had survived the initial attack, and were emerging from the smoke and running from the trailers, firing at the treeline.

Shepard was quick to follow the Alliance soldier, pulling out her pulse rifle once more. She grunted as she slid on her ass down the muddy hill, hopping back to her feet again once she reached more even ground. A quick series of shots took out the batarian closest to her, and she took a brief moment to scan the large clearing. Suddenly, she stopped, looking back to the steep decline down to the grassy clearing. It was the edge of a crater. This was the spot. _This was Saren's base_.

A bullet ricocheting off her kinetic shield brought her out of her reverie, and she ran forward. No cover down here. She needed to keep moving and take out the rest of the slavers before she lost her shields completely. She brought down another slaver with a close range shot, then spun and knocked another to the ground with the butt of her gun. The batarian fell with a cry, and Shepard stood over him to unload another few rounds into his chest. She popped the overheated thermal clip and popped in a new one, looking up.

The fight was over. These were slavers, not mercs or soldiers. It almost wasn't a fair fight. Bester was checking the fallen slavers. Mordin was opening up the trailers,

peeking inside. "All clear. No slaves."

"They must be at the other camp," Bester murmured.

"You want to know about me and Alenko."

Bester looked over at the commander and smirked a little. "If you want to tell me to buzz off, that it's none of my business…"

"Why do you want to know?" Shepard raised a brow, sliding her rifle back into place. "Are you and he…?"

Bester grinned, "Me? No. Regs aside, he's not my type. What with his penis and everything. I hear some girls are into that, though." She popped her own thermal clip. "But I served on the same ship as him before he was assigned to the Normandy."

"I see," Shepard said with a distracted air, scanning the crater. This was where the nuke was detonated. The crater was easily a kilometer wide, and the forest had begun to reclaim the once scorched earth. At the deepest point there was a small pond, surrounded by delicate yellow wildflowers. The spot was so peaceful and picturesque one would be hard pressed to believe that so many people died on this spot: the indoctrinated salarians, the small army of tank bred krogan, too many of Kirrahe's soldiers, and Ashley Williams.

"I always got along with him." Bester went on. "He's the most honest person I've ever met. But in a-… the word diplomatic doesn't fit, that sounds like an insult. I mean, he's never hesitates to tell you exactly what he thinks, but he always says it in exactly the right way. Scrupulous? Is that what I mean? Anyways, I was really happy to hear he was joining the Crerar." Bester frowned a little. "He's never talked about you."

"Shepard!" Mordin called out from one of the trailers. Shepard shook off her thoughts and dashed inside, finding him crouched over a little table. He turned to her, holding up what looked like a dried black cicada shell.

Shepard frowned, reaching out to take it from him, "Is that-"

"Collector seeker probe. Just one. Dead. Inactive. Slaver must have found it. Kept as souvenir."

Bester was leaning in the doorway. "Holy shit. He found it here?"

"Don't know. No reason for Collectors to be here. No human colonies. No colonies at all."

"They might buy slaves here."

"Wouldn't use seekers then." The salarian spun the little mechanical insect in his fingers once Shepard handed it back, examining it closely.

"So he picked it up on another human colony?"

"What colony? An empty one? Already raided by Collectors? Why? No, no. Very odd."

Shepard nodded once, "Make a sweep of the area. See if we find any more here."


	7. As Time Goes By

_**Hello again. Today's love goes out to commenter Bdub and everyone else who favorited and added alerts. We're inching ever closer to the farthest point that I have written, so if the updates slow down, it's because I have lost my buffer and I'm writing them while you wait. I know my other story (which you should totally read) missed an update for this very reason. A quick reply to commentor Kudara: Yes, Halabi is coming across as an asshole, and yet she was **_**right**_** about Virmire. Speaking of assholes, what is Kaidan up to****? Hehe. Enjoy.**_

* * *

**Ch. 7 As Time Goes By**

"And you can just keep unloading into them, and it doesn't even make a dent. When you finally DO drop the bastards, they explode. There are evolutionary advantages, and then there's being a vindictive bitch."

Kaidan smiled faintly, looking down the beach then back to Jacob. "Klixen. I hate those things."

"I would not be wasting my time with Rachni. Breed a hundred of those bastards and airdrop them into battle."

Kaidan nodded, stepping over a rotting log. The east camp was a good deal farther from the batarian ship, the path marked with Mako tire treads in the wet sand. "You like working with the Commander?"

"Shepard? Absolutely. Best job I've ever had." Jacob glanced sideways at Kaidan.

"What made you leave the Alliance?"

Jacob paused as he considered his words, biting his lower lip in thought, and then shrugged, "Bureaucracy. Red tape. Some big man sitting up in a cushy office telling me what was a threat and what wasn't. What deserved our attention." His head shook, "I'm a man of action, Commander. I see something wrong, I want to go fix it. I don't want to wait for the paperwork to come through."

"I see why you like working for the Commander."

Jacob chuckled, nodding, "Yeah, I guess we've got that in common, huh?"

Kaidan remained silent, eyes straight ahead, watching for slavers or sign of the camp through the rain. Finally, he said, "You thought the Alliance wasn't doing anything about the Reapers."

Jacob frowned at the other man, then nodded slightly, "Yes, sir, I did."

Kaidan glanced at him, "Just because that's the way it appeared, doesn't make that the whole story."

Jacob's steps slowed to a stop. He watched Alenko pass him, "You're saying they're actually doing something? And covering it up?"

Kaidan exhaled, turning back to face him, wiping a drip of rain from the tip of his nose. "I'm saying that what the Alliance tell the public and what they are actually doing have always been two different things."

"Why didn't Anderson tell Shepard that?"

Kaidan frowned, standing up a bit straighter, "_Admiral_ Anderson couldn't tell Commander Shepard a lot of things, seeing as she was working for Cerberus."

Jacob stared at Kaidan a few beats of silence through narrowed eyes. "And you wonder why I left the Alliance." He shook his head and started walking again, head bent to keep the downpour out of his face.

"And your Illusive Man always told you what his other hand was doing?" Kaidan snorted.

"So you're saying Cerberus and the Alliance are equally unethical?"

Kaidan smirked grimly, shaking his head. "What I'm saying is your loyalty seems to shift with the wind. A man of action who needs to be at the _center_ of the action. You can't just do what's needed of you; you need to be the hero."

"You don't know me." Jacob had closed the distance between them with a few quick strides, face darkening with anger. "With all due respect, _sir_, what the fuck is your problem?"

Kaidan paused to give the other man a hard, dark look. He stepped around him, and continued down the beach without a word.

Jacob turned, watching him. He let out a sudden bitter laugh, "This is about Shepard, isn't it?"

"We're supposed to be on a mission here, Mr. Taylor."

"Unbelievable." He shook his head in disbelief, falling into step behind him. "You think we're shacking up, don't you?" He laughed again, a low hard sound.

Kaidan flexed his jaw, "Whatever the Commander chooses to do with her-"

"We're _not_, Alenko. Jesus Christ. Not like I didn't-" He stopped suddenly, eyes narrowed on a glint of metal downriver. "There. I see it."

Kaidan had been scowling at the other man, but at his words he stood tall, gazing in the same direction. The bickering was dropped instantly now that it was time to go to work. It was a small camp from the looks of it, made up of a few trailers. The rain was beginning to let up, and he could see that a Mako was parked in the river beside it, and the boulders between the soldiers and the camp made it impossible to get a good count of what they were up against. "We're going to need to flank them," Kaidan murmured, motioning to one side of the beach. "I'll distract them from that position, you lay down the fire."

Jacob nodded, jogging away from him and through the shallow water. Kaidan watched him lean against the wall of a cliff face, inching closer to the camp. Kaidan stepped away, rounding the tall boulders, his steps light in the sand, then silent through the river as he slid himself behind the Mako. He slowly sunk to his hands and knees, drawing in a breath before lying on his belly in the water, peering under the vehicle. Through the gaps between the tires he saw about ten batarians. They were poking out of the two trailers, watching the sky clear and the clouds fade. He could handle ten. The slavers trickled out of the trailers and into the center of camp, one of them shouting angrily into a radio in his native tongue. He wasn't getting an answer. It sounded like Shepard's team had already struck.

Armor dripping water, he stood again, sliding towards the rear of the Mako, throwing up his biotic barrier almost without thinking. He took a brief moment to focus, hand tightening around his SMG, then he stepped into view, sweeping his arm into the air. Suddenly, half the batarians were in the air, dangling like marionettes on slack strings. Kaidan's other hand lifted as he fired at the slavers still standing on the ground and staring up at their comrades with startled expressions.

The slavers in the air suddenly slammed backwards, into the steep rocky cliff face behind them and dropped unceremoniously to the ground. Jacob had stepped out from his hiding spot, flinging the batarians back with how own biotics. Kaidan heard armor and skulls crack before Jacob turned to fire on the rest of the slavers from what would have been an escape route. The slavers fell quickly under the sudden attack. A pair of them tried to make a break for it, but they were pulled back towards Kaidan by use of his biotics, and Jacob shot both in quick succession.

"You an L4?"

"L2."

"Hardcore." Jacob jogged towards one of the four metal trailers, popping open the hatch, stepping in, his pistol held up. His entrance was met with screams. Twenty human women were huddled inside the small space, crouched low in an attempt to stay out of the line of fire, hugging one another. He quickly lowered his weapon, exhaling. "You're safe." He looked outside, listening to one of them burst into sobs, "Women in here."

Kaidan entered another of the trailers, grimacing when he found this one full of children. There were another twenty of them here, lying on the floor, terrified, half of them sobbing, all of them under the age of ten. Damn slavers. They wouldn't be finding any men here. No profit there. He quickly holstered his weapon, holding his hands up. "It's okay, you're safe now. We came to get you out of here. My name is Kaidan. Is anyone hurt?"

The radio crackled, "Alenko, this is Shepard. Come in."

He frowned, tapping the comm in his ear, "Yeah, we found them. Women and kids." He lowered to sit on the dirty floor, offering one small boy a friendly smile, holding out his hand, "You're safe now, it's all right. Are you okay?"

"Bester has a trade vessel en route to pick them up. Alliance is going to meet them inside the Verge and escort them to the Citadel. Bester is coming out to your location, I need you over here."

The boy nodded at Kaidan slowly, stepping closer. "Over where?" Kaidan asked Shepard.

"The crater."

Kaidan's eyes closed a moment. "Give me a little bit of time to get things squared away here." He looked back at the boy, taking his hand, "What's your name?"

The boy was silent, looking outside cautiously. He was about seven, and his front bottom teeth were just starting to grow in crookedly, jagged edges poking up. His knees and elbows were bloody and raw, his expression blank and vacant. "Casey."

"Let's see if we can find your mom, huh?"

* * *

Kaidan walked in silence through the soggy terrain. His feet fell single file, keeping inside the tread of a tire. Most of the slavers were dead, and within the next few hours the people they were going to sell into slavery, twenty-three women and seventeen children, were going to be the hell off this planet.

He hated this planet.

The child named Casey didn't unlock his hand from Kaidan's until they found his mother outside the second trailer. There was a moment of fear where Kaidan was certain they weren't going to find her and he was an ass for even suggesting that they would.

He'd been doing an admirable job of being an ass lately.

He was soaked through. The rain had long since stopped, but he could feel water squishing in his boots between his toes, the skin of his fingers was puckering and wrinkling in his gloves. If one wore a helmet, these suits were water and airtight. He, of course, didn't, and water had dripped down his neck and slid down his back, reaching every nook of the armor. He peeled off the wet gloves, shaking the water out of them and slicked his hair back from his forehead.

Kaidan came to the mouth of the crater and grimaced, carefully inching his way down the steep edge. He spotted Shepard and the salarian standing near a small pond, heads down, staring at the ground.

He took his time walking to them, taking in his surroundings. Ash died here. Shepard had the opportunity to save her. He was arming the nuke when Ashley radioed for help, overwhelmed by geth. He demanded that Shepard go. Of course, the minute she left, geth began pouring into his position where he crouched over the warhead. He was overwhelmed. He wouldn't have said anything over the radio, but it was clear he'd need to arm the bomb to go off a bit earlier. He told them both to hurry up and get off Virmire.

Shepard came back. She left Ashley to die fighting and came back for him.

He'd never completely forgiven himself for that. Ashley died because of him, because Shepard couldn't leave him behind. Sure, Shepard had told him it wasn't just him. She had to protect the nuke as well. If the geth overtook Kaidan, if they got their mechanical fingers on that nuke and disarmed it, they all would have died. Saren would have had his krogan army, and the Reapers would have won right then. But Ashley still died. And whatever excuse Shepard came up with, Ashley died because of them. And now look at them.

He frowned, rubbing his face with his hand. That wasn't fair. Damn it, that was dishonoring her memory. _She died a hero, Alenko. Shepard made the right choice. Snap out of it._

"Kaidan." Shepard waved him over, studying his face, a wrinkle appearing in her brow. "You all right?"

"Yeah." He nodded to them, tone dismissive. "What did we find?"

"Seekers." Mordin stood up straight. "Found sixteen. All in this area. May be more." He turned to Kaidan, holding up one of the dead insect-like mechs.

"What?" Kaidan shook his head, "Why would they send the swarms in out here? There's no human colony here."

"Did the prisoners see anything?"

Kaidan shook his head, "They've been locked away on this planet for a week. They haven't seen much of anything. We've captured a couple of the slavers alive, but they refuse to talk. I don't think they speak Bridge. A lot of batarian nationals don't get the babelfish." Babelfish was slang for the LNI, a tiny linguistic neural implant placed on the temporal lobe that made it easier to learn different galactic languages,. Lately, however, an invented "Bridge" language used among Citadel races was so common that many colonies weren't teaching native languages anymore. "Miranda said she speaks batarian. She's interrogating them now."

"That'll make her day." Shepard took one of the little robots into her palm. "Mordin, are these seekers different from the others we've seen?"

"Different?" He blinked at her, then looked more closely at the one he held. "No. Don't think so. Perhaps. Smaller? Dissection will confirm."

"Why?"

"Like you said, there are no colonies here. And they left them behind. Maybe they served another purpose."

"What purpose?"

Shepard pushed her hand over her forehead, pulling wet brown curls back. Kaidan found himself staring at another lock of hair that was plastered to her cheek by the rain and quietly imagined sliding a finger under it and slipping it back behind her ear. "Reconnaissance?" She asked, eyes roaming over his face before she looked away again, scanning the crater. "The other swarms immobilized people. There's no reason to send them in here."

Commander Alenko frowned and tore his gaze away, shaking his head. "This doesn't make any sense. Halabi said they weren't spotted at Therum or Norveria. But here?"

Shepard folded her arms, looking back at him, "Maybe they aren't looking for me." She smiled faintly, "Everything isn't _always _about me. What do Eden Prime and Virmire have in common?"

Kaidan looked to the sky, exhaling, "Saren? Sovereign?"

"Both dead," Mordin said, counting the seekers again.

"So was I. If we're going to accept the idea that they were looking for me with outdated intel, we need to consider they're looking for something else that isn't here anymore." Shepard frowned, looking to her omni-tool, "EDI, place an overlay of Saren's base on the map."

"Done, Shepard," answered the mechanized voice. Shepard stared at the aerial map on her display, studying the layout of the destroyed lab, walking slowly away from the men.

"Commander, this is Miranda," her voice called over the radio.

Kaidan watched Shepard with a thoughtful expression, then tapped his comm, "This is Alenko, Miranda, go ahead."

"Other Commander. For future reference, to get a batarian to talk, threaten to remove one of his eyes. Then act on the threat. You'll be amazed by the results."

He winced a little. "Duly noted. What did you find out?"

"The Collector ship was here."

Kaidan looked at Shepard, who was standing still across the field, staring at the ground in concentration. "When?"

"Three days ago." Damn. They'd just missed it. At least they were closing the gap. "The slavers actually got excited, they have a kid with palsy here they thought they could sell. But the ship never landed. Just like Eden Prime, it hovered over where you are now for a few hours, then left."

"Did they see it send in a swarm?"

There was silence as Miranda quizzed her prisoners. Kaidan quietly watched Shepard as she walked through the grass in thought, one hand dropping to trail her fingers along the knee high yellow flowers. The stems bent under her touch, and sprung away when she released them, flicking away the raindrops.

"No, Commander, they didn't see any." Miranda finally answered.

Mordin sniffed, "Lots of insects on this planet. Very tiny swarm. Might have gone unnoticed. Also possible unnoticed on Eden Prime. Should have searched there more thoroughly."

"I'll radio Halabi when we get back on the Normandy, ask her to send people in to perform a complete sweep of the area around the dig site." He frowned, crossing his arms as he shifted from foot to foot. "Why were they here? How can you figure out the motivations of something that isn't supposed to have any?"

Shepard was turning slowly, staring at the blueprint on her omni-tool display, walking away from them. She stopped suddenly, and looked up. "This is where we talked to Sovereign's image on that holographic display."

"So they're looking for Sovereign?" Kaidan asked.

"Collectors seeking out Reaper?" Mordin asked. "Possible. Needing direction. But why dead Reaper? Should have knowledge of others. Harbinger. Would seek out Harbinger if that were the case. Unless unable to. Too deep in dark space. Needed to communicate with Reapers. Base and antenna destroyed. Needed communication device Saren had. But why Eden Prime? No connection."

Shepard shook her head and pointed at the ground in front of her, "This is where I activated the second beacon."

The three of them stood in silence, staring at the patch of grass she indicated. Mordin slowly began to shake his head, "Seeking out beacons? Nonsense. Beacons point out location of Conduit. Attack plan failed."

Kaidan was shaking his head slowly, "That wasn't the beacons' purpose. That was just how Saren used it." He looked at Shepard, stepping closer, "The beacons were a warning to other Protheans that might have survived the Reapers. It was to tell them to flee to Ilos, to band together with other survivors."

Mordin sputtered while Shepard looked back at Kaidan, eyes narrowing. "They aren't on Collector autopilot. They're on Prothean autopilot."

Mordin scoffed, "Not the case. Impossible! Collectors are _not _Protheans!"

Shepard frowned at the salarian, "They were once. And maybe they're acting on some deep buried instinct that the Reapers didn't completely destroy. Have you got anything better?"

The frown on his lizard face deepened, fingers rubbing the back of his head, "Not yet. Could be another explanation."

Kaidan turned to her, "But the beacons are all destroyed."

"The beacons we know about are destroyed. There could be others."

He smiled faintly at her, "Ilos?"

Shepard answered with a light grin and curt nod. "Ilos."

He clicked his tongue, "Long trip. Let's go."


	8. You Must Remember This

**_Mad love today goes out to Made Nightwing, Hey, and claire83. Yesterday I experienced a wild writing session, and it looks like there's going to be 15 chapters in all. It's all you guys and your great comments that keep me going. I'm always happy to get feedback so that I can improve and continue to be inspired. I shall continue to upload new chapters every other day until we reach the very end. Thanks, and enjoy!_**

* * *

**Ch. 8 You Must Remember This**

This trip was half nightmare. The other half wasn't a dream, either. The other half was tolerable.

Once they were back on the Normandy, Kaidan had sought out Jacob and found him cleaning weapons in a large room off the CIC. "I wanted to apologize."

Jacob looked at him with a dark expression, "So now that you know I'm not sleeping with your girl, we're going to be buddies?"

Kaidan blinked, "I… deserved that."

Jacob shook his head, "Commander Alenko, what you think about Cerberus is right. They are a bad bunch of people, and I wish I would have seen it sooner. But if I didn't join up with them, Shepard wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have helped her take down the Collectors." He set his rifle on the table beside him, wiping his hands on his pants. "And you don't know me, or why I'm here. So I don't appreciate you passing judgment."

Kaidan nodded, folding his arms and leaning on the table, looking at the man across from him. "What I said was wrong, and I'm genuinely sorry. You are a good soldier. I wish the Alliance hadn't wronged you and lost your faith. It's our loss."

"You were being an ass."

"Yes, I was."

Jacob smirked, picking up a pistol and disassembling it. "You really thought me and her, huh?"

Kaidan's teeth gritted briefly as he dropped his gaze. "If I did, it was no excuse for my behavior."

"Uh-huh." Jacob ran a towel over the pistol components. "That's a yes."

Kaidan watched him a long moment, standing straight again. "I was an ass. Rub it in."

Jacob grinned a little, humor in his tone. "Plan to every chance I get, Commander." He lifted the disassembled barrel, looking through it. "But to be honest with you, I thought about it. Brought it up once, and she shot me down. Bruised my ego something fierce. I am pretty damn certain I am no threat to you in that department whatsoever." He shrugged, sliding two cleaned parts of the gun back together.

Kaidan grimaced. "I don't-…" he trailed off, hanging his head. "Look. You aren't a threat to anything. Shepard and I aren't anything."

"Why is that, exactly?" Jacob asked casually, looking back up at him as he set the pistol aside.

"Why aren't… she and I…"

"Yeah."

"Well… I thought she was dead, for one?" Kaidan shifted from foot to foot, crossing his arms. "And two years is a long time."

"It wasn't two years for her." Jacob's hands found a shotgun, and once again he began disassembling it with the speed and ease of a soldier who'd practiced this task over and over again. "You want to know what I think?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

The younger man smiled crookedly. "If you don't want to know, I can keep my opinions to myself, Commander."

Kaidan tilted his head to the side, "I would prefer we all focus on the mission, Mr. Taylor."

"And not your personal life."

"Exactly."

"Aye aye, Commander." Jacob grinned to himself, returning his attention to his task.

Kaiden let out a breath, scratching the back of his head, stepping back, and turned on a heel to leave. Honestly, were he and Shepard the only interesting things to talk about on his ship? Wasn't there a geth on board? An assassin? A former convict? Granted, the more colorful characters on the ship tended to stick to themselves. He'd had a brief conversation with only one of them.

Jack had cornered him near the sleeping pods, one tattooed arm reaching out to block his path. She'd asked, "When's the last time you got laid, Alenko?"

He'd blinked at her, "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me." She looked him over, running her tongue along her teeth, "And yeah, it was also an offer. You're too fucking tense."

He'd declined in the most gracious way that he could muster, quickly retreating to the safety of the Justicar.

Kaidan found Samara again now back at the observation deck, sitting on the floor, meditating. "Mind if I join you?"

"Of course not, Commander."

Kaidan slid into the seat beside her, folding his legs up under himself. He used to spend a lot more time meditating. It was part of his biotic training at Jump Zero. When he was a kid he took a few minutes every morning to just sit and clear his head. These days, well. He couldn't remember the last time he just sat down and relaxed. Before Shepard died, probably. It was a lot harder to keep a clear head when left to his own thoughts these days. The fact that she was alive again didn't do much to set his mind at ease, either. Before it was guilt for letting her die, then guilt over letting her get away, now it was-… he didn't even know _what_ was wrong with him now.

"How went the mission?" Samara asked.

Kaidan exhaled slowly, his eyes closing. "The ship was here. We found some of the Collector seekers. We think they were here looking for the Prothean beacons."

"Yes, I heard Doctor Solus saying something to that effect." Those pale blue eyes were on him. "I was curious as to how you were after visiting Virmire again. I understand you lost someone there."

Kaidan let out a long breath, unfolding his legs, "Yeah… we did."

"Shepard retreated to her quarters after entering the coordinates for Ilos. I thought that a bit odd."

His brows quirked at that. He'd already taken a hot shower and gotten into dry clothes, radioed in to Halabi in the comm room, then crossed the CIC. No sign of Shepard. "It was… probably hard for her. I know it wasn't an easy decision she made two years ago on Virmire."

"You could talk to her."

He frowned, stretching out his legs, placing his feet against the wall. "I don't know if I could or should. I've just been pissing everyone off lately, Samara. If she went up to her quarters, I'm guessing she wants to be left alone."

Samara was silent, turning to look out the window, then rolled to her feet. She slid to sit beside him on the bench. "I think that you are fearful. I hope the observation doesn't offend you."

He glanced over at her, brows lifting. Fearful? He shifted in his seat a little, choosing his words carefully. "I haven't invested a lot of time in self reflection lately." In fact, he was trying very hard not to. "But I wouldn't say I'm _fearful_…"

"You loved her once, very much. And then you lost her. And the pain was excruciating. Like a child who has burned himself, you are in no hurry to return to that which caused you pain."

"And I'm also behaving childishly." He arched a brow at her.

"Perhaps." She gave him a thin, almost sad smile. "May I ask a personal question?"

"Go for it."

"If at any time in those past two years you were given the chance to be exactly where you are right now, would you take it?" Her calm yet piercing gaze was upon him again.

The question was unexpected, and he blinked at her, momentarily stunned. "I…" He swallowed, then exhaled, rubbing his face with both hands. "Yes. I would."

Samara nodded, "And would you be down here with me feeling sorry for yourself, or would you be up there with her?"

Kaidan leveled his gaze at her, then shook his head, getting to his feet, "I'll go talk to her."

"That is all I ask, Commander."


	9. We'll Always Have Ilos

_**Thanks today go out to commenters ExcidiumHawke, NQ Wilder, and the ever delightful Made Nightwing. NQ's review was especially wonderful, and I'm happy s/he was tickled by the protective Garrus. Still no real solid ideas what my next story is going to be, but I should really focus on finishing the two I've been posting, huh? Again, love love love the comments, thanks for those, and as always: enjoy.**_

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**Ch 9. We'll Always Have Ilos**

Shepard was giving up. Every muscle and every bone in her body was angry at her and protesting loudly, demanding rest. The hot shower had helped, but only briefly. She wasn't going to get any sleep. She'd tried to lay down and relax, but her brain was in overdrive. Collectors, Protheans, Virmire, Ash, Kaidan. Ilos. For Christ's sake, they were heading to Ilos again. So she gave up. If she was going to stay up another night, she'd might as well find something constructive to do with her time. Now Shepard stood at the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. And when they did, there was Kaidan Alenko. His face mirrored her own expression of surprise. "Oh," he said. "Sorry. I…"

"Were expecting someone else up in the Captain's quarters?" she asked slowly, looking him over.

"No, I was just… I was going to check on you," he said, blinking a few times, "and you were getting ready to leave and now I feel like a moron."

Shepard felt a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as he stood there stammering, and she stepped out of the way, motioning him in to the little foyer. "By all means, Commander, come in."

"It's just-… You disappeared. I wanted to… make sure you were all right, I guess." He stepped off the elevator, watching her open the door to her quarters and motion him in. He hesitated, looking into the room, then followed her in.

Oh, shit, she still had that picture of him. Shepard side stepped quickly, sliding the frame behind one of the ship models on her desk, turning back to see if she was caught.

She wasn't. He was watching the fish in the huge tank that took up half the wall, shaking his head a little. "Cerberus design? Waste of space and water, you'd never see that on an Alliance ship."

She sighed, "You know what? If you're up here, you are not allowed to mention Cerberus or the Alliance. Agreed?" She turned and walked down the short set of steps, and sat on the L-shaped couch.

"I can do that," he murmured, taking in the rest of the room.

"You wanted to talk?" she asked wearily, rubbing her face with both hands.

"Uh, yeah." He looked back at her, crossing his arms, his brows pulling together. "I just… Virmire. I wanted to make sure you were okay. After all that. You ran up here, not that it's my business."

"Kaidan," she sighed, dropping her hands, "Stop walking on eggshells. I haven't been able to get any shut-eye. I thought now that we were off that rock I could get some sleep but," her shoulders lifted, "no dice."

One of his dark thick brows lifted, and he stepped a little closer, "You _do _look like hell."

"Keep pouring on the compliments."

He cracked a grin, and finally sat on the opposite end of the couch, "I mean you look exhausted. You haven't been sleeping?"

Shepard leaned her head back, resting it on the back of the sofa and put her feet up on the coffee table. "Been replaying our last trip to Ilos over and over in my mind. You think I can get any sleep knowing you're one floor away?" She tossed him a smile then shook her head a little, sobering. "I wasn't looking forward to Virmire," she admitted.

She got a chuckle for her little flirting effort, but he fell silent again for a few moments, clasping his hands between his knees scanning the room again, his gaze lingering over the N7 helmet sitting on her desk. "Yeah. Hell of a thing." His thumb ran along his lower lip in a familiar gesture of deep thought, "It was kind of eerie. The jungle took it over again so quick. Another few years and you'd think there was nothing there. That nothing ever happened."

She watched him through hooded eyes, then murmured, "I heard they gave her a bunch of posthumous medals."

Kaidan nodded, "Salarian Silver Dagger and the turian Nova Cluster. First human to get them."

Shepard smiled faintly, "She would have gotten a kick out of that. A turian medal."

Kaidan grinned a little, looking back at her, "Yeah, she would have. God, how long did she and Garrus go at it with those jokes digging into each other?"

Shepard laughed, "Every time those two got in a room together and there was the briefest break in conversation."

"What was the one she told?" He leaned back, smiling. "Where they jumped out of the ship…"

"I don't remember that one."

"Oh, I got it. There's a ship flying over this rocky planet, and inside are a turian general and soldier, and an Alliance captain and soldier. And the turian general says," he dropped his voice to mimic the rumbling turian pitch, "'I can prove to you my soldiers are braver than yours.' And he tells his soldier to jump out of the ship with no parachute, nothing. And the turian says, 'Yes, sir!' Boom, out he goes. Splat, he dies. And the human captain says, 'That's nothing, watch this.' He tells his soldier to jump out of the ship with no parachute, and the human soldier says, 'Hell no! You can kiss my ass!' And the captain said, 'Now THAT is real courage!'"

Shepard shook her head, laughing, "Garrus had a good one. Turian soldier and human soldier are in the bathroom, standing at the urinals, and the turian finishes and turns to leave, and the human says, 'Hey! Didn't they teach you to wash your hands in basic?' And the turian says, 'No, they taught me not to piss on my hands!'"

Kaidan laughed, "Ash told me that one, but she flipped it around! Was that Garrus'?"

The laughter faded into an easy silence, and for a few moments there was only the sound of the bubbles in the fish tank. Shepard took quiet pleasure in simply looking at him. Everything was inching towards normal, feeling comfortable and at ease in each other's presence. Finally she said, "I missed you."

His smile faded and his gaze dropped, "Shepard."

"I looked for you." She sat up, leaning towards him. "The first place I went when I had control of this ship was the Citadel to track you down."

He lifted his head, meeting her gaze with uncertainty.

"Anderson wouldn't tell me where you were." Her head shook a little, weary voice raw and crackling. "Illusive Man claimed to not know where you were, but I doubt that was the truth. I woke up in that facility and all I wanted to do was find you. And when I finally do-"

"Jane." He stopped her, looking pained.

She fell silent, eyes searching his. "I'm sorry I put you through all that," she finished at last, voice soft.

His expression softened, hand reaching towards her to slide a finger up her cheek, catching a lock of hair and slipping it behind her ear. She'd had scars there the last time he had seen her, now faded away to nothing but into pinpricks of puckered skin. His hand remained tucked under her jaw, thumb idly stroking her ear. "That wasn't your fault."

Shepard slid closer to him at his tender touch, "It's been surreal. Seeing what happens to the people you care about when you aren't around. I hardly recognized Liara when I saw her. And Garrus, what he's been through."

He hesitated again as she shifted her body closer. Always cautious, even with a sure thing. He finally slid closer himself, wrapping an arm about her shoulders, guiding her head to his shoulder. "You… leave an impression on people." His eyes closed, cheek settling against her forehead. "And then you left a hole."

"And you," she added, her voice a low rumble.

Kaidan nodded, chest rising and falling. He was silent for a long time, his arm about her. "It was hard," he said at last. "All my worst fears realized. It can't tell you how long it took for the idea to even sink in. Kept thinking I saw you. I'd see someone walking away from me around some corner in the Presidium, and there'd be a moment when I was sure it was you, and I'd chase this poor stranger down. Or I'd hear someone laugh on the other side of the room, and I'd think it was you. Denial stage, I guess, I don't know. Anderson suggested counseling… I never-…" He frowned, letting his voice fade, stroking her hair, fingertips massaging her scalp lightly. "Anyways," he murmured after another long pause, turning his face to bury it in her hair, eyes closing. "I just kept going over the last time I saw you, kicking myself for not doing something, anything. Again. Just like Ilos."

Shepard didn't answer. Kaidan twisted his neck to look down at her face, feeling a wet spot forming on his shirt. She was drooling on him. Kaidan bit his lip and tipped his head back, trying to keep his chest still as he held in a laugh. Commander Shepard was out like a light.

"Well… I'm super boring or super comfortable," he mumbled to himself, resting his cheek on the crown of her head again.

After she'd left him behind to go to Ilos in an attempt to beat Saren to the Conduit, he swore up and down not to let her ever do that again. He remembered every detail. She had dressed quickly after those first intimate moments together as the original Normandy closed in on Ilos, and she had headed to the bridge when summoned. He was a bit slower to follow. It might have looked suspicious if they arrived together. The stupid things you worry about when the fate of the galaxy is at stake. Joker had said he could land the Mako in an impossible location, right at Saren's feet. Shepard hurriedly assembled the team she was taking with her to the planet's surface and disappeared from the bridge. Stung at having been left behind, Kaidan followed her in a rage.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Shepard had looked up at Kaidan from where she was crouched on the floor beside her equipment locker. She knew this was coming. Honestly, she'd hoped he'd sleep a little longer so that she could avoid this. "I'm buckling my boot."

"You know what I meant," he said, stepping closer. He was furious, face flushed, hands clenched into tight fists. "You are not leaving me here. I am coming with you."

"You're staying on the Normandy, Kaidan. I need Liara and Tali on this one and I need you here." She straightened, turning away from him to grab her gloves from the locker shelf.

His hand reached out and shut the locker. "No."

She paused, lips twitching as she took a moment to keep her own temper in check. "Yes."

"No. I am coming with you."

She glanced back at him out of the corner of her eye, one brow arching. "Are we having our first fight?"

"Is this funny to you?" He blinked at her, face twisted in disbelief and anger.

Shepard exhaled slowly, sliding his hand away from the locker, "No. But you are still staying here."

He rocked away from her, walking in a little irritated circle, "Do you have any idea what you're going to be up against down there? I am not letting you out of my sight."

Shepard let out a huff, pulling on her gloves, "Lieutenant, you are to remain on the Normandy. That is an order."

"No." He rounded back on her, shaking his head, voice a hiss. "No. You don't get to pull rank on shit like this."

"The only reason you want in on this run is because of… whatever we are. You are letting your emotions get the better of you," she said through gritted teeth.

"So are you!" he retorted heatedly.

She turned to him then, leaning closer, "Damn right I am. Do you think I feel great about what happened back at Virmire? Fuck, if I had listened to you and let you run off with Kirrahe…" Her head shook a little and she set her jaw, stepping back. "I would have had to leave you behind and that would have _killed _me, Kaidan. It would have destroyed me. So I am going to pull my fucking rank in the most bullshit of ways and order you to remain on this ship. And if you want to hate me forever for it, that I can live with." She wiped her face quickly with a hand, pulling her helmet on.

Some of the angry color had drained from his face, and he stood back from her, still breathing hard, mouth a thin line. Turning her words over in his mind. Part of him still refusing to accept them. Finally he threw his hands up in resignation. "This is why they have regs."

"Yeah. And you're lucky turians don't build brigs because I wouldn't hesitate one second to throw your ass in there."

"You'd better come back from this."

"That's the plan."

He watched her in silence, then shook his head, reaching out to brush her fingers away from the fasteners and pull back the helmet. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, chin dipping to press his lips to hers, holding her tight against him. She sucked in a breath, arms wrapping back around him tightly, kissing back deeply. "You'd better come back from this," he had murmured again against her lips.

Déjà vu. Here he was, back in her quarters, the Normandy rocketing though space towards Ilos. His gaze lingered on her neatly made bed, half considering waking her up and taking her there. Running ideas through his mind, recalling every inch of her skin and the ways she would move and bend and sigh under him.

He blinked a few times, lifting a hand to rub his face. _Let her sleep_. Another voice in his head introduced the idea that he could always let her sleep _later_, but he shook off the suggestion.

His arm was falling asleep under her weight, tips of his fingers tingling painfully. Kaidan sucked in a breath, shifting a little to get his arm in a more comfortable position, then exhaled, relaxing again, settling his feet up on her coffee table. He tipped his head back, closing his eyes. He cleared his mind, relaxed, and dropped off to sleep with her.


	10. Not An Easy Day To Forget

_**Oh, hello. Welcome back. I've been struggling a little with this chapter's rewrites, when what I really want to do is go back and change a few things in the chapters I've already post. I think I've made it work. Ah well. Comment love to anonymime, pinkstranger, and again to NQ, Made Nightwing, Bdub, and Hey. I wish I could take credit for the jokes last chapter, but they're old military jokes my dad told me a few times. Anyhow, the update is finally up! Enjoy!**_

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**Ch.10 Not An Easy Day To Forget**

It didn't look good. The Collector ship was large, too large to simply hang in the air like it was, as close to the surface of Ilos as it was. EDI's scans picked up only a handful of life forms, and all power was off. It hovered just outside the reach of Ilos' gravitational pull, floating like an ugly dead log on a glassy lake.

Bester had already alerted Halabi that the Collector ship had been found. She sounded pleased, ordering her soldiers in to clear it out and salvage what they could.

Shepard stood in the comm room with Miranda and Alenko, grimacing at the scans of the Collector ship that were hovering over the conference table in a detailed holographic display.

Things between Shepard and Kaidan could be defined as _alright_. Not awkward, not tense. Not where they were before, but friendly. Comfortable. It was progress, breaking down those familiar old walls he'd thrown up again.

She'd woken up that morning with her head in his lap. Kaidan was still out, head tilted back over the couch, mouth hanging open, snoring softly. She had given considerable thought to waking him up and introducing the idea they fool around. If only for old time's sake. But a glance to the clock nixed that idea. They'd be at Ilos in under an hour. Instead, she woke him up and told him to go get ready.

He'd nodded blearily, rubbing at the painful crick in his neck, rolling to his feet. He paused in the doorway, looking back at her, looking as though he had something to say. But he ducked out without a word. Now, back in the CIC, it was back to business.

"It is difficult to get an exact count of the Collectors on board, Shepard," EDI intoned. "They seem to have gathered in the center of the ship." This hologram flickered before a display of Ilos appeared. "I am also detecting several life forms on the planet itself."

Shepard's brows rose, her gaze flitting to the new image. "Collectors?"

"It would appear so, Shepard," the AI answered.

Miranda lifted a brow, looking over at Shepard. "We'll need two teams, then."

"I'll take the ship," Kaidan said, crossing his arms. He glanced at Miranda before turning his attention to Shepard. "I can take Bester with me."

"You're going to probably want Tali, too. She can pull files and information off their systems for you quickly. Samara already told me she wanted to visit the surface if the chance arose, and Mordin's tagged along this far, so we'll take the shuttle down to Ilos. You want anyone else?"

"I think the three of us can handle a small group of Collectors."

"Famous last words," Miranda murmured, crossing her arms and lifting a brow when Kaidan grimaced at her. "I'll remain on board the Normandy, then. Oversee both operations. Don't hesitate to call for backup should you need it."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Miss Lawson." Kaidan stepped away from them and out the door to gear up for the mission.

* * *

If the Collectors were on Ilos, the most logical conclusion was that they would be at Vigil. According to Anderson, the ancient virtual intelligence was no longer in working order, but the Collectors wouldn't know this. The shuttle swept in through the narrow streets of the old Prothean city, landing gently in the lush greenery. When the door opened, Shepard, Samara, and Mordin were hit with a wave of hot wet air. Almost instantly Shepard broke into a sweat.

"Oh yeah… Ilos." She stepped out of the shuttle and into the humidity, looking about. They were in an alley long overgrown with leafy plants. There was no sound. No birds, no insects, no wind.

Samara frowned, looking about. "This place is unsettling."

"No natural animal life." Mordin sniffed, referring to his omni-tool. "Only plants. Would like to take samples if time."

Shepard grimaced, turning in a slow circle. "We're here to find the Collectors."

"And kill them, Commander?" Samara asked, brows lifting.

"And see what they are up to. The number of Collectors here and on the ship is less than what we've seen on other ships. So Mordin is probably right. They're dying off."

"We relegate yet another species to extinction." Samara mused as she stood before one of the Prothean statues, studying it closely.

"Another!" Mordin scoffed.

"I mean no personal offense, Mordin," Samara said calmly. "But the Reapers annihilated the Protheans. The krogan, the rachni. The salarians, the krogan."

"Krogan are not annihilated!"

"Neither are the rachni," added Shepard. "And these aren't Protheans. Not anymore. The Collectors are an abomination, and the Protheans deserved a better fate." She pulled her pulse rifle from her back, "Let's go."

* * *

The Collector ship was eerie. Kaidan had never set foot on one before, and it was as dark and silent as a tomb. The architecture reminded him of this old dead and empty chunk of hornet's nest that his brother had found and kept in his room. His brother used to try to scare him with it, and for a week Kaidan had nightmares of creepy crawly things emerging from the black papery crevices and stinging his face in his sleep.

He glanced over at Bester, then Tali, "Is this what the base was like?"

"Yes. But bigger. And filled with things trying to kill us."

The trio rounded a corner, and stopped at a small pile of bodies. Collector bodies. There were at least ten of them, shriveled and curled up on the floor.

Bester made a sound of disgust, and Kaidan stepped around the corpses, muttering, "Mordin said they'd be starving and dying off."

Tali grunted, "Glad my respirator keeps out most of the smell." She peered down the long dark corridor, fiddling with her omni-tool. "The heat signatures are deeper inside the ship. Where the control room is, by the looks of it." She pointed down the long dark tunnel, "This way."

Kaidan nodded, leading the way. He glanced at the quarian, "I was kind of surprised to find you working for Cerberus, Tali."

Tali looked at him quickly, the scowl hidden behind her helmet. "I'm working for Shepard, not Cerberus."

"_With _Cerberus, then," he amended.

"Who were also working for Shepard."

"But still. After what they did on the Flotilla..."

Tali let out a long breath, her head tilting to the side. "The people working for Cerberus who attacked the Flotilla were in the wrong, absolutely. But no one on the Normandy was responsible for that. And when it came down to it? Everyone who was working for Cerberus made the right call and sided with Shepard." She flicked on the light of her omni-tool, illuminating some of the dark tunnel. "Someone told me once that people are individuals. Saints and jerks, just like us."

Kaidan grinned at her, "Which one is Miranda?"

"You do know I'm listening to your channel, don't you?" came a cool Australian accented voice over the radio. "And I am no saint, Commander."

Kaidan chuckled and shook his head, returning his focus to the task at hand. "What did you find in the last ship?" He glanced at Tali. "Any surprises?"

"Well, the humans in the pods we weren't expecting. Oh, and the husks."

Kaidan grimaced, walking with his pistol at the ready as he crept deeper into the ship. "Husks. Great."

"Ugh, this is like something out of a horror vid," Bester muttered, flinching at something wet and sticky dripping from the ceiling.

The tunnel turned suddenly, where another pile of Collector bodies lay, along with one that was sitting up, leaning against the wall and wheezing. It looked up as they rounded the corner, and just watched them with four pale unblinking eyes.

Bester was the first to fire on it, a few quick shots through the head. Kaidan winced, stepping to the side, giving his lieutenant a dark look. "Lieutenant, you do not fire unless I give the order to fire, is that understood?"

"Yes, Commander, sorry." She glanced at him then back to the dead Collector, red faced. She had never faced Collectors before. She was jumpy.

Kaidan stepped over the dead Collector, "Did Halabi want specimens?"

"She didn't specify, but I don't think this is what she meant by salvage. The Alliance got a few back on Horizon." Bester leaned over the Collector, grimacing.

"Let's keep moving so we can get the hell out of here."

* * *

The path down to Vigil was a long wet trek down an aqueduct. Thousands of years after the Protheans went extinct, their waterworks still ran, bringing water to every corner of the derelict city. It fertilized fields that no longer grew anything edible, filled fountains that were crumbling away, generated electricity that was no longer needed.

"Was there anything you discovered from the seekers you found on Virmire?" Samara asked, glancing over at the salarian.

Mordin nodded, "Yes. Not the probes we saw. Different. Cameras. Spies. Reconnaissance."

"Looking for the beacon." Samara raised a brow.

"Apparently."

"Why didn't they use them on Eden Prime?"

"They may have," Shepard said, looking down the tunnel, keeping an eye out for the elevator that would take them to Vigil. "There is still a mystery there. Every time the Collectors used the seekers, they took them back again. These new probes, the cameras, they left those behind on Virmire for some reason. But they might have taken them back again on Eden Prime."

Mordin nodded once. "Collectors getting disorganized. Dying off. Losing power. EDI said only few on ship. Perhaps unable to recall seekers."

"And now they are here," Samara murmured, "seeking salvation, perhaps."

Shepard frowned, then stepped up onto the edge of the aqueduct, tapping at a panel on the wall. "Here it is." A doorway opened, and Shepard jumped back in alarm.


	11. This Is The End Of The Chase

**_Hello again. Today's thanks go out to commentors Kudara and Pinkstranger. In other news, happy birthday to me! You know what I want for my birthday? That's right, comments and reviews. Thanks! Enjoy!_**

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**Ch. 11 This Is The End Of The Chase**

Kaiden glanced over at Tali's omni-tool, keeping the tunnel lit with his own. "We getting close?" Working their way through the dark tunnel was unnerving. They were swimming through ink, unable to tell if the tunnel would make a sudden turn or drop.

"Nearly there, Commander." She looked over at him. "And it still feels strange calling you that."

He smiled a little, "From what I hear, I should be calling you Tali'zorah vas Normandy."

Tali shook her head, eyes rolling behind her mask, "Have you heard that whole story? Shepard was brilliant."

"She usually is."

"Back on the first Normandy, I remember thinking that all humans must be like her." Tali shrugged, glancing over at Kaidan. "And I couldn't understand why no one liked humanity. Sometimes I still don't, after all she's done. Always sweeping in at the last moment to save the galaxy."

Kaidan looked back at Tali, watching her a moment. He nodded at last, "Yeah. In her way she may constitute an entire second front."

"Shh!" Bester said suddenly, holding up her rifle. "Did you hear that?"

They froze in the dark, putting their backs to one another and listening. Then they all heard it. A low moan echoing off the dead walls.

"Husks!" Tali hissed, her light darting to the sound.

It was human in shape, crawling up through a chute. It was blacker in the dark, grotesque under the dancing beam of the flashlight. Its eyes were blue and illuminated, tendons and muscles flexing with faint blue lights coursing through its veins. It moaned again, pulling itself out of the opening completely. There was another husk right behind it.

"Shoot it, shoot it!" Kaidan shouted, pushing his arm out to sweep the husks back with his biotics. The husks tumbled backwards into the dark, and the passage was lit up with gunfire as both women unloaded their weapons into the crawling creatures.

"Nine o'clock!" Bester called out, spinning to fire in another direction. There was another narrow chute in the ground, and another steady stream of husks was pouring out.

"Shhhit," Kaidan spun, firing at the second wave of husks.

Tali danced backwards, tapping her omni-tool and releasing a brilliant ball of light towards the husks. The combat drone rolled towards the creatures, pulling them towards it like moths to a flame. The husks groaned, turning to follow the drone, punching at it angrily.

The long narrow corridor had zero cover, and Kaidan was in no rush to crouch behind a dead Collector. "Good, Tali!" he called out. Perfect distraction. These things didn't try to dodge bullets; they ran right into them and into you until you dropped them. "Keep it up!"

He heard Bester scream in the darkness, and he spun to the sound, pointing his light in her direction. She had been knocked to the ground, four husks over her, beating her mercilessly. He cursed, sweeping his arm and sending the husks floating into the air with his biotics. Huffing, Bester picked up her SMG and picked off the floating creatures.

"It's too dark, I can't see where they are coming from!" Tali yelled over the gunfire, watching her drone blink out of existence and leave that end of the tunnel pitch black again.

"Keep sending those drones, Tali. Bester, keep closer to us. Back to back!" Kaidan stepped back, closer to Tali as Bester scrambled to her feet, popping her thermal clip. When she put her shoulder against his, Kaidan could feel her trembling. "Keep firing, Lieutenant!" he shouted.

Tali grunted, shoving away a husk with the butt of her shotgun, kicking at it angrily. "I hate these things, I hate these things…" She fired another blast, then blinked as she peered down the tunnel. Something was lit down there, an orange glow around the corner growing brighter as it came closer. "Keelah!"

"What?"

"The blow-up ones!"

"They have blow-up ones now?"

The glowing, flaming husk had rounded the corner now and Tali let out a shriek, "Yes! Shoot it, shoot it! Kill it!"

Kaidan punched a husk off him, and rounded towards the glowing abomination, gritting his teeth as he unloaded his pistol into it. He was popping his thermal clip when he felt another husk slam into him, grabbing at his gun and pushing him back into Bester. "God damn it!" He threw down the pistol, kicking the husk away as he pulled out his shotgun, blasting the husk into black gooey chunks.

The abomination was still advancing, moving faster now that it had spotted them. Tali was screeching, "Back up, back up!" Bester was firing wildly at it, scrambling backwards.

It continued to close in on them, running and spitting flames. Kaidan rounded back on the advancing abomination and fired. He was blinded and thrown to the floor with the force of the husk's blast as it exploded, throwing sticky wet bits of itself in all directions. He felt someone or something land limply on top of him, and for a terrifying moment he was certain it was Bester or Tali. He blinked, wiping at the visor of his helmet, waiting for his vision to clear. "Sound off!"

"Bester!"

"What? Oh. Tali'zorah. Ugh." He heard a wet impact, then another shotgun blast. "Keelah… I think that's all of them."

Kaidan shut his eyes tightly, pushing himself back to his feet, feeling what had to be a dead husk roll off him. The exploding husk had actually worked to their advantage, taking out the last of the husks with it. He opened his eyes, lifting his light and squinting down the tunnel. "Injuries?"

"Singed," Bester said, running a hand over her helmet, checking for damage. "Otherwise fine."

"Tali?"

Tali shook her head, looking over herself, turning a dial at her hip. "Minor breach in the suit. Nothing to worry about."

Kaidan felt sweat dripping over his ear and shook his head to shake it off. He was surprised to spot blood droplets on the corner of his visor. He grimaced and turned to look down the tunnel. "Okay. Worst might be over. Let's move out."

* * *

The elevator down to Vigil opened to reveal a Collector corpse. Shepard stepped back in surprise. "Shit," she whispered, then bent down to inspect it. No gunshot wounds. No wounds of any kind. It was lying here with its legs and arms tucked into its chest like a dead spider.

"We may not find any alive," Samara murmured, lifting the dead creature with her biotics and floating it out of the elevator.

Shepard frowned, stepping into the elevator. She first pressed the controls, then the comm in her ear. "Kaidan, how are things going up there?"

His response was breathless, "Ran into some husks. Found one half dead Collector. Otherwise this place looks empty. Still making our way to the ship's controls."

"Be careful. We're descending towards Vigil now."

"Always, Commander."

Shepard closed her eyes and let out an exhale as the elevator lumbered slowly down the tunnel into the depths of Ilos.

"Liara came here last with you, did she not?" Samara asked quietly, leaning to the side to peer out the narrow slats in the elevator. Outside a huge room could be seen, lined with oval pods containing long dead Protheans. The life support units had turned into sarcophaguses long ago.

"She did, yes." Shepard glanced over at the asari. "She actually wished that we could have stayed longer so that she could study the ruins."

"Perhaps we will have time to bring her something back?" Samara's brows lifted questioningly as she glanced back at the Commander.

Shepard studied her a long moment. Samara had latched onto Liara after Morinth's death. The Justicar was an expert at suppressing her own emotions. She was only a tool of her Code, and strove to be nothing more. But being forced to kill her own daughter was no easy task, and it must have weighed more heavily on her mind than she would ever let on. Her other two daughters, from what Shepard could gather, were estranged.

Liara T'Soni had lost her own mother only two short years ago, and was no doubt equally eager to find a maternal figure in her life. Shepard often caught Samara at the extranet terminals these days, communicating frequently with the young asari. Both were searching without even being fully aware of the fact, and they had found each other. Shepard nodded to the Justicar, "After we're done here. We can try, sure. And take plant samples," she added, catching Mordin's frown.

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened like a hungry mouth to reveal a huge, cavernous room, the tall walls lined with more circular pods. There was a long narrow platform running down the middle of the room that was filled with Collectors. There were at least fifteen of them here; standing or sitting slumped with postures of complete exhaustion. Two Collectors were on the far end of the platform, hammering at the ancient VI controls with their fists. The VI calling itself Vigil had stopped working two years ago, and Shepard was the last one to activate it.

A few of the Collectors turned to look at Shepard's team, and then casually looked back at the front of the platform. They all moved sluggishly, yellow eyes dim, and the pink flesh that could be seen under their exoskeleton was pale. Shepard had her rifle at the ready as soon as the doors had opened, but when no attack came, she stepped back and raised a brow. "Why aren't they shooting?" she asked Mordin in a whisper.

"Don't know," Mordin responded, his own pistol held at the ready. "Perhaps no strength for a fight."

"What should we do, Commander?" Samara asked in a low voice, her body crackling with biotic energy.

Shepard wetted her lips, eyes narrowed. She sucked in a breath and called out, "There is nothing here for you anymore. These people are dead."

Half the Collectors looked at them again. Some sat, wings sagging, chests rising and falling with labored breaths. The two at the front went on fiddling fruitlessly with the VI.

Shepard stepped forward, pointing her gun at the ground, "Do you hear me? Do you understand?" There was another recording on Ilos, badly damaged. It had spoken the Prothean language that Shepard had been able to understand. She couldn't exactly speak the dead tongue on command, however. "These people are dead, there is nothing here." The Collectors gave no sign of understanding and went on ignoring her.

"Pointless," Mordin muttered almost sadly.

Shepard took another step forward, and finally one of the healthier looking Collectors reacted. It stepped forward and pushed her back, quickly lifting its particle beam and fired at her. Shepard heard her kinetic shield shatter as she was thrown back.

Mordin let out a shout of alarm, lifting his pistol and firing at the Collectors. The sickly creatures had no barriers up to deflect the shots, and his blasts ripped through them as if he were firing at rotten fruit.

Samara, meanwhile, swept her arms. A biotic wave rolled from her, knocking the Collectors, one after another, off the platform and into the air before plummeting down to the ground far below. Only the two at the far end of the platform remained.

Shepard grunted in pain, rolling back to her feet. That was a stupid thing for her to do, wasn't it? There were going to be bruises. Mordin was jogging ahead, aiming at the remaining Collectors while Samara stopped to help Shepard up. She heard gunfire as the salarian executed one, and then he turned to the other.

"What would the Code say about this?" Shepard murmured, resting a hand on her stomach as her gaze found the last Collector. She couldn't bring herself to kill off the last rachni queen in that laboratory on Noveria, even with the possibility of her attacking, or creating an army and striking back. The queen had begged for mercy. Here was the last of the Collectors, sitting a few feet away, just looking back at them, not fighting, not even attempting to protect itself as Mordin held his pistol to its head.

"A Justicar who is all merciful is a Justicar who is unjust."

"Killing them_ is_ merciful." Mordin said in a low voice, his pistol held firm at the last Collector. "Not Protheans. Not anything. Slaves. Dying. Doomed. Killing is most merciful option."

Samara watched him before asking in cool, calm tones, "Then why aren't you shooting it?"

The salarian flicked his gaze to her, then back at the Collector, his lips pulled back in a grimace. Finally, he exhaled, his shoulders sagging.

"I've got this, Mordin," Shepard said, hand resting on his shoulder a moment, gently guiding him back. She couldn't let Mordin kill the creature, not when he still struggled with his part in the krogan genophage. She stepped forward, lifting her own pistol at the last Collector. Its head rolled to the side, gaze focusing on the rows upon rows of pods, only a handful of the thousands of dead Protheans that filled the ancient ruins. Shepard let out a long exhale and pulled the trigger. The creature shuddered briefly, then slumped over dead.

And that was when she heard the screaming.


	12. The Wow Finish

_**As always, welcome and thank you for reading. Thanks to commentors RayneEthelwulf, Commander Alenko, NQ Wilder, and Made Nightwing. You guys rock. I'm still hammering away at the final fifteenth chapter. It's rough when you have all these notes you want to hit in the conclusion and you want to hit them all naturally and not just have a character come up and say a line then walk off again. Aaanyhow. Enjoy the wow finish.**_

* * *

**Ch. 12 The Wow Finish**

The screaming began not long after Alenko's team found the control room at the center of the ship. There were piles upon piles of Collector bodies here, curled up and dried out, some covered with downy white fuzz that signaled decomposition. There were only a handful alive here, sitting quietly near the ship's controls, leaning against the walls or each other.

Kaidan had come across several large pods in their trek to the control room, and the ones that weren't empty were filled with rotting human remains. The life support systems must have gone offline when the ship lost power, which might have been days ago.

"This is fucking grim," Bester muttered, training her gun on one of the live Collectors. "What's your order, Commander?"

Kaidan frowned and motioned to the ship's controls, "Tali, see if you can pull anything of value from the ship's files. Bester, just be ready. They aren't attacking us yet."

Tali nodded, running her six thin fingers over the display, eyes squinting behind her mask. "I'm going to need to give it a jump to turn it on and get anything," she said, lowering her omni-tool to a port in the side of the console, sparks dancing from it before disappearing into the dark.

"And see if you can get the lights on," Bester added, watching the Collectors warily.

The control console buzzed softly, lights blinking on the flat monitor. The quarian ran her hands over the controls again, nodding with satisfaction as the lights flickered on in the small room. The Collectors flinched, lifting their hands to shield their eyes, or rolling away from the sudden bright lights. Kaidan murmured a low, "Steady," to Bester to keep her calm as the creatures started moving.

"There we go," Tali said, "minimal power on. Enough to get some files." She paused, her head turning slightly. There was an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach, something like vertigo. It felt as if the whole room was slowly rocking forward. She frowned, looking over at Kaidan, gripping the console to keep her balance. "I don't feel-…"

Kaidan stepped to the side quickly, blinking at the slow tilting sensation. Bester stumbled backwards. "What the hell…?"

Tali's eyes widened. It wasn't just her, it was the ship. It was moving. She was pushed into the console with a grunt as the ship's nose continued to dip down. Panic stabbed through her. The ship was falling out of the sky. "We need to go now."

"Shit!" Bester screamed, scrambling towards the hallway.

"Alenko to Normandy! The ship is moving!"

"It's falling!" Tali shrieked, sprinting past him.

Kaidan sucked in a breath, his feet pounding the metal floor as he chased after the women. He was vaguely aware of someone calling back over the radio, demanding to know what was happening. "The ship is falling, we're coming back, we are going to need some help!"

"Copy that, Alenko!" Miranda responded. She'd been standing at the captain's controls, closely monitoring the mission. Now she sprinted towards the airlock, grabbing an emergency respirator from the wall near the door. "Joker, keep us on that ship!" In the next moment she was out into the gangway, sealing the door behind her.

The Collector ship continued to tilt, slowly being drawn towards Ilos like a sinking boat, finally snagged within its gravitational pull. The run back to the doorway leading to the Normandy continued to be a steeper and steeper climb.

"God damn it," Joker hissed, rocking the Normandy forward in an attempt to keep it connected to the Collector ship. The doorway creaked with the strain, and terrifying groaning sounds came from the hull as it rubbed against the other ship. "Hurry up!"

The bodies of the dead began to roll down the sloping floor towards them as they ran, and Kaidan had to dodge a few, gritting his teeth. "Turn on your boots!" he barked, staring at a corner of the HUD in his visor and activating the electromagnets within his shoes. They instantly gripped the floor, making sure he wouldn't slip back down into the depths of the ship but also making the climb a lot slower. The technology was meant for zero gravity, not this, and they might not hold up if the ship continued to tip. Tali stumbled, and he reached out to catch her. She gasped out a thanks, settling her feet more firmly on the floor and began to run again.

He could see light ahead. The doorway to the Normandy was only ten yards away. They were going to make it.

The Collector ship groaned and rattled, pitching to the side. Kaidan crouched, trying to keep his balance. He suddenly heard Miranda yelp and Joker cursing over the radio. "It pulled away from us, the jetway broke off!" Shit. "You any good at the long jump, Commander?"

"Stay on it, Joker!" Miranda ordered, stepping backwards and closer to the Normandy, holding onto the edge of the ship as the jetway connecting to the other ship shattered and flew off into space.

"I am, damnit! Everyone hang on!" The Normandy dove, spinning with the Collector ship as it continued to fall, spiraling and picking up speed.

Kaidan was aware of Bester screaming something as he continued to climb, fingers digging into the defects in the floor. All he could make out from Tali was "go go go!" over the creaking of the ship and the howling of the wind rushing in from the open door. He was four yards from the doorway now, and could barely see Miranda leaning out of the Normandy, shouting something at them, holding out her hand. She sometimes disappeared from view as the Normandy bobbed and weaved in an attempt to keep pace with the falling vessel. Bester and Tali were ahead of him, still climbing. The Normandy was too far away, and unable to keep up with the falling Collector ship. The world was shuddering violently and all he could do was hang on. They weren't going to make it.

He sucked in a breath, pulling himself upright, and swept his arms out with a bellow. Biotic power glimmered around Bester and Tali, propelling them through the air and towards the Normandy.

Miranda managed to grab them with her hands and pull them onto the platform, staring down at Kaidan as she got further and further away. "Alenko!"

This was it. He couldn't fling himself with his biotics. He wasn't strong enough. He would never be strong enough. This was the end. Honestly, he felt more guilt than fear, knowing all too well what Shepard would go through. He heard her voice then, screaming over the radio in his ear, "No!"

Suddenly, he was surrounded by blue light and was flying through the air, out the doorway, watching the Collector ship fall away from him and plummet towards Ilos. He felt the Normandy hit him hard, making his vision swim, and when it cleared he looked up to see Miranda standing over him, her hand in a fist, the two of them illuminated with her fading blue biotic energy.

Kaidan let his head fall back and the world went black.


	13. Outlawed Miracles

_**Oh, hello there. How was your weekend? Mine was incredibly busy, hence the lack of updates. Also I got Dragon Age II. Ahem. And this update is a short little one. I hope you will forgive me. Comment thanks to dinad2, pinkstranger, and Lwynna. We're getting near the end!**_

* * *

**Ch. 13 Outlawed Miracles**

"What's going on! What's going on?" The elevator was too fucking slow. Shepard punched the controls repeatedly with her fist. No one was answering her.

"The ship is falling, we're coming back, we are going to need some help!" Kaidan. Falling? Falling out of the sky? Crashing towards the planet? With everyone on it?

"Oh dear," Samara said.

Shepard punched the controls again, and when the doors finally opened she ran.

She had to get to the shuttle. If she could get to the shuttle, she could save them. She could hear Samara and Mordin calling out to her, but she just kept running. She wasn't fast enough. She kept pushing her feet against the flat stone ground as she ran along the edge of the aqueduct, gaze skyward as she searched the narrow openings above her that offered a glimpse of the sky.

"Joker, keep us on that ship!"

"God damn it! Hurry up!"

The aqueduct sloped upwards, and Shepard kept moving, her heart pounding in her throat, breathing hard, panic tightening around every muscle in her body. She slipped on the wet stone surface, falling to her hands and knees. They were going to die. Kaidan was going to die.

"Turn on your boots!"

He was still alive. Shepard gritted her teeth, pushing back to her feet and running again. The passage leveled out once more and opened up to one of Ilos' overgrown streets. She pushed through the archway, armor catching leaves and tearing them off the walls. She spun, looking to the sky again, gasping for air and feeling light headed.

"It pulled away from us, the jetway broke off! You any good at the long jump, Commander?"

"Stay on it, Joker!"

"I am, damnit! Everyone hang on!"

She saw it. The ship was falling, nose diving towards Ilos and glowing a horrifying orange. The Normandy was spinning around it, trying to keep up.

No. No no no. The Normandy was falling behind. The Collector ship was still plunging out of the sky, death spiraling downwards. Shepard felt her stomach churning, and had to swallow a few times to keep its contents down.

"Alenko!" Miranda screamed.

Shepard fell to her knees. "No!" She was helpless. There was nothing she could do. He was dying in front of her, and Tali and Bester and there was nothing she could do. Her fingers dug into the wet earth, eyes locked on the ship as it continued to fall, her body starting to tremble. It was breaking apart now, large chunks of it tearing off under the strain of reentry and spinning away. "No no no no…" She was going to be sick. Images rattled around in her brain, his body bouncing off the walls, bones cracking, spinning through the air, falling, burning.

"We've got them, Shepard…" Miranda's voice was breathless, tinny in her ear. "All of them. Alenko, Bester, and Tali are on board."

Relief washed over her as if a bucket of cool water was poured over her head. If she hadn't already been on her knees she would have collapsed. Shepard fell back, laying in the dirt and ferns, closing her eyes as she struggled to calm her breathing and heart rate. "Oh, thank God," she exhaled. Miles away, the Collector ship hit Ilos, and she could feel the ground shake under her, warm breeze making her hair and the leaves surrounding her shudder and sway.

She heard light asari and salarian footsteps finally catch up with her. "Commander?" Mordin sounded a little worried.

Samara crouched beside her, cool fingers brushing over Shepard's forehead. "They are safe, Shepard."

"I heard," she murmured, opening her eyes, holding out her hand. Samara took it and pulled the woman to her feet. "I want to get back on the Normandy." She drew in a deep breath, leading the charge back to the shuttle.


	14. On That You Can Rely

_**We're getting near the end. I hope you've figured out the movie homage by now. Thanks to Commander Alenko, Made Nightwing, and bluemarlin for the lovely comments. I think this chapter has the moment you fangirls have all been waiting for. Enjoy.**_

* * *

**Ch. 14 On That You Can Rely**

She found him in the med-bay, sitting on the edge of an examination table, wincing under the delicate touch of Doctor Chakwas. "Hold still," she was telling him, reaching up to turn the overhead lamp to a better angle. She was examining a nasty looking gash on his temple, clucking softly as she spread a thin layer of antiseptic over it. "That is going to leave a scar."

Shepard hung back, shaking her head a little with a faint smile. He was bumped, bruised, and cut, but he was alive. Kaidan caught sight of her over Chakwas' shoulder, offering a sheepish smile. "Hello, Commander."

The doctor turned to look at her, stepping back from her patient, "Ah, hello, Commander. You certainly rushed back up here, didn't you? I can assure you, everything is under control. Tali's already taken a healthy dose of antibiotics, there was a rupture in her suit. Lieutenant Bester got out with hardly a mark on her, lucky girl. Commander Alenko blacked out for a spell, Miranda and Thane carried him in here straight away, but he's not that bad off, considering."

Shepard let Chakwas prattle on as she wordlessly closed the distance between herself and Kaidan, eyes never leaving him. Her arms slipped around either side of him, gripping the opposite edge of the examination table as she leaned in to press her lips to his.

Kaidan's brows arched in momentary surprise, and he sucked in a deep breath. His shoulders dropped as he relaxed again, arms wrapping about her and pulling her tight against him, nose wrinkling at the hard lines of her armor. His hands slid up to cup her face instead, kissing back with warmth and longing.

"Oh," Dr. Chakwas said, stepping back. She cleared her throat. "I suppose I'll just… wait until you're finished, then." She smirked, rocking on her heels. "Not quite done with the examination, Alenko. That's going to need a suture."

Shepard finally pulled back from him, resting her forehead against his and murmuring, "I thought I lost you."

"Sorry," he whispered back, thumbs stroking her cheeks. "You almost did. If not for Miranda…" he trailed off, kissing her lips again.

Shepard purred softly against his mouth, fingers tracing designs on the small of his back.

"Commanders," Chakwas said in a light chiding tone.

Shepard sighed and stepped back, "I should get out of this armor."

"You absolutely should," Kaidan agreed with a nod, then winced, putting his palm to his gash.

"Dash it all, Alenko, I just disinfected that!" She shooed Shepard away from her patient, shaking her head as she turned back to him. "Chin down, please."

Kaidan complied, resting his chin against his chest, dark eyes focusing on the floor. "Sorry."

"Whatever are you sorry for? I'm happy to see a smile on your face."

There was the sound of the doors hissing open, then high heels clacking off the pristine tile floor. Kaidan arched his brows, turning his gaze to see who just entered while keeping his head still under Chakwas' attention.

"Ah, you're awake." Miranda Lawson strode further into the room and into his line of sight. "And hello, Shepard. You got back up here in a hurry, didn't you?"

"Can you blame me?"

"Not at all."

Kaidan turned his head a little, drawing more scolding clucks from the doctor, and he rolled his eyes, wincing a little as she mended the cut on his head. "I am awake. And alive, thanks to you. So… thank you."

Shepard grinned a little, glancing over at her, "Ah yes, and my treacherous Cerberus operative pulls through."

"That's me," she replied with a wry grin, her arms crossing. "All in all, it was a good thing you turned my offer of assistance down and had me remain on the Normandy, Commander Alenko."

"I got lucky." He leaned back when Chakwas finished. The doctor stepped away, picking up a small adhesive bandage. "I didn't ask you to stay back because I thought it was a good idea, I did it because I didn't trust you."

"Oh, I know that, Commander," Miranda replied breezily. "I'm not an easy person to trust. Or like, for that matter."

"I apologize for that. Not trusting you."

"I think I can find it in my icy cold heart to forgive you," she answered, corner of her mouth turning up.

EDI's holographic orb appeared over her console, "Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Bester has contacted Captain Halabi, and she wishes to speak with you."

"Of course she does," Shepard murmured. Her gaze lingered over Kaidan a few moments more, before she stepped back, turning to the doors. "Better go share the good news…"

Kaidan watched the doors close behind her, and he took in a deep breath, straightening. "I'm usually a much better judge of character than this. I've just let my biases get in the way. That… wasn't fair." He paused, turning to study Miranda a few moments, his hands folded between his knees. "You're a good person, Miranda," he murmured. "It wouldn't hurt to let people know that once in awhile."

She blinked at him, then gave him a slow, genuine smile. "Duly noted, Commander."

* * *

"You're telling me the ship crashed?" Halabi asked, outraged.

Shepard nodded, leaning over the railing overlooking the galaxy map. "I am afraid so. All the Collectors are dead, and it could take _weeks_ to salvage the wreck. But you still have an entire Collector ship all to yourself, damaged though it may be. I'm more than happy to help out with the recovery."

Halabi huffed on the other end of the transmission. "I don't want Alenko and Bester out there doing that. They have more important matters to attend to. I can send a quieter Alliance team out there to clean up. We will rendezvous at the Citadel. Halabi out."

Kelly rolled her eyes, muttering in a nasally voice, "Translation, I don't want you Ceberus assholes picking through my tech." Shepard bit her lip to keep from laughing.

So much for a long leisurely stay on Ilos. Already she had to rush back and turn her borrowed soldiers back in. She sighed, stepping off the platform, looking up at the elevator as she heard the doors open. Inside stood Kaidan, a small bandage on his head, gaze finding her. A slow smile crossed his face, and he lingered in the elevator, leaning back against the wall.

She smiled back, calling over her shoulder. "Joker, take the scenic route home."

"Aye aye, Commander," came his reply as the pilot glanced over his shoulder, looking at her from the other end of the CIC. "Bow chicka wow wow."

Shepard snorted and shook her head, stepping into the elevator with Kaidan. "Everybody is in everybody else's business on this ship, I swear." She tapped the panel, directing the car up to the top floor.

Kaidan chuckled, wrapping an arm about her as the doors closed, leaning in to kiss her again, refamiliarizing himself with her lips, her tongue, her mouth. Shepard leaned into him, pinning him against the wall, her hands running down his sides, her fingers hooking in his belt loops.

He leaned his head back, taking in a quick breath, eyes hooded. "Shepard," he said breathily.

"No more apologizing," she answered, rolling up onto her toes, pressing her body into his.

"No," he said, laughing softly between her kisses. He wrapped both arms about her, pulling her to him tightly, pressing his lips to the side of her neck, and murmuring against her skin. "What the hell took me so long to get my head out of my ass…?"

Shepard chuckled, her lips finding his ear. "I have no idea."

He turned his head to meet her gaze. "I don't deserve you."

"Stop."

He frowned, squeezing her a bit tighter, shaking his head. "I'm a stupid, terrified idiot who doesn't even come close to deserving a woman like you. You haven't changed at all. You're Commander Shepard. _The_ Commander Shepard, and who am I?" He lifted a brow, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm an idiotic fool who is so scared of losing you and being unworthy of you that I keep pushing you away."

"You deserve every good thing that has ever happened to you, Kaidan. If you want me, I'm yours." She held him close, mouth closing on his again, and was dimly aware of the elevator doors opening to her quarters. He pulled at her shirt, hands slipping underneath, his palms against the skin of her stomach. She gasped softly at his tender touch over her fresh bruises, before his hands were sliding around and up her back, pressing her against him. She pulled her mouth from his to take in a breath and murmur, "I love you, Kaidan."

The words seemed to stir something in him, and he made a soft sound, turning to press her against the elevator wall, kissing with renewed passion. Shepard moaned softly, then blinked as the elevator doors closed with a hiss and the car begin to travel downwards. "Shit." She pushed him back, scrambling to tuck her shirt in.

Kaidan rocked back from her with an annoyed expression, clearing his throat. "We should have gotten off the elevator."

"We should have gotten off the elevator," she agreed, chuckling. He grinned back at her, shaking his head, folding his hands in front of him and trying to look casual.

The elevator doors opened to reveal Garrus waiting for the car outside the mess hall. He blinked, straightening, looking at the flushed Kaidan, then at Shepard tucking in the back of her shirt. He paused, and stepped back, holding up a finger, "I'll catch the next one."

The doors closed, and Shepard broke down laughing. She tapped the controls again, shaking her head as she stepped close to him, wrapping her arms about him. He chuckled, dipping his head to kiss her, then playfully pushed her off the elevator when the doors opened one more onto her quarters. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it up and off over his head, following her into the room where they made love on the floor, never quite making it those last few feet to her bed.


	15. Here's Looking At You, Kid

**Ch. 15 Here's Looking At You, Kid**

"I don't want to go," Kaidan said in a sleepy, childish voice, face buried in the pillow. Joker's scenic route lasted eighteen hours, all of which had been spent in Shepard's quarters, aside from a quick kitchen raid and speedy return with late night snacks. They'd recently awoken to EDI's pleasant voice alerting them to the fact that the Normandy had finally reached the Citadel.

Shepard grinned over her shoulder at him as she pulled on her socks. She had gotten mostly dressed while he lazily refused to move from the comfort of her bed. "I don't want to get on Halabi's bad side any more than I already am. We're already late."

Kaidan grinned, turning his head to look at her. "She's intimidated by you."

"Oh really?"

"Mm-hmm." He rolled to his side and rubbed his eye with a yawn. "She obeys all the rules, does exactly what the Alliance wants of her, and then there's this hot shot punk who throws protocol to the wind and is lauded as a hero, plastered all over recruitment posters." He smiled faintly, watching her stand and cross the room. "You know, for awhile, they were selling these omni-tool apps that would have 'WWSD' blinking across your wrist in big red letters."

Shepard laughed, disappearing into her bathroom. "You need to borrow my toothbrush?"

"Yeah," he called back, leaning back on his elbows. He shook his head a little, running a hand through his hair. "This is surreal."

"Good surreal, though, right?"

"The best surreal." With a resigned sigh, he finally threw aside the covers and got to his feet. "Keep waiting to wake up."

Shepard stepped back out of the bathroom, sliding close to him, kissing him. He wrapped his bare arms back about her, humming pleasurably into her lips. Finally, she pulled away with an affectionate swat at his rear. "Get dressed."

"I don't mind keeping her waiting. Thirty minutes."

"Get _dressed_, Kaidan," she said, grinning, and disappeared from the room, leaving him alone.

He was slow in preparing to leave. He lingered, stretching out every moment, studying every detail of the Normandy, starting with her quarters. When did she start collecting model ships? He'd found a picture of himself hastily slid away on Shepard's desk, and that had made him smile. His own photographs and mementos of her were still tucked away in that box in his storage space, a weak attempt to purge himself of her memory and move on. He hadn't been home since learning she was alive to pull it out again. His smile faded into a frown, and he set the frame down.

He dragged his feet after leaving her rooms and studied every face he passed. There weren't many. Shepard was going to need to build up her ranks again somehow. Jack appeared briefly, stepping into the elevator as he stepped off. "Offer still stands, boy scout," she drawled as the doors slid shut.

He found Samara standing near one of the navigator consoles, watching the elevator as if she was waiting on him. When he finally appeared, she gave him one of those soft, polite, emotionless smiles, stepping closer. "Commander. I wished to see you off."

"Samara," he smiled back at her, then offered his hand. "Thank you for everything."

The asari looked at his hand then back to his face, lifting a brow. "You will return to the Alliance now." The words connected together as if they should be a question, but her tone dropped, almost turning it into a proclamation.

He paused, looking past her. At the far end of the CIC near the exit, he spotted Tali, Bester, and Shepard. Bester had found a friend in Tali, and the pair of them was exchanging data between their omni-tools. Bester was raving about a band she was sure the quarian would love, and Tali was uploading a number of colorful old quarian musicals. "That's-… Yes," he said slowly.

The expression on her face when he looked back at her startled him. Her mouth had formed a thin, hard line, gaze flitting intently between his eyes, as if her sudden cutting stare were dissecting his every deepest thought. The moment was brief, and a half second later Samara had stepped back, her cool demeanor returned. "May the Goddess bless you in the path of duty." She dipped her head, then turned and left him standing there in bewildered silence.

"You ready to go, Commander?" Bester looked up at him as he approached.

Tali was quick to give him a departing hug. "You will keep in touch this time. Promise."

He nodded quietly, thoughts distant, "I promise."

Bester turned off the omni-tool and picked up her duffel bag. "Halabi's waiting for us at the embassy offices."

Shepard nodded her head in Kaidan's direction, "I'll walk out with you. I was going try and talk to the Council while we're here." She tapped the door control, opening the airlock, and the three of them crossed the threshold, door sealing behind them. "Set up some regular funding. Judging by my last few meetings with them, I'm not holding out too much hope there."

The door on the other end of the airlock opened after a quick quarantine scan, and Bester walked onto the gangway, looking over her shoulder at Kaidan as she shifted the weight of her bag to her other shoulder. "You coming, Commander?"

Kaidan was still standing in the airlock passage, frowning. His face was turned down, brows lowered, expression difficult to read. He put out a hand to stop Shepard from exiting and called out to his Lieutenant, "I'll meet you there."

"She's already pissed off, Commander."

"I'll meet you there," he repeated, voice more insistent.

Bester frowned, a wrinkle appearing in her brow, but she nodded, stepping away to the elevator that would take her down to C-Sec offices.

Shepard was watching Kaidan warily. The look on his face was one she hadn't seen before. His jaw was set, gaze intense as he reached out to tap the control and close the door out to the Citadel. "Kaidan?"

"I'm staying with you," he said, turning to her and tilting his chin up.

Shepard blinked at him, "Kaidan."

"I'm staying with you," he said again decisively, stepping towards her.

She frowned, stepping back, "What, and abandon the Alliance? You said-… Kaidan, that's desertion." Desertion meant a dishonorable discharge and prison time. Worse if it was decided that he deserted during wartime.

He stopped short as she retreated, and he dropped his gaze. "I know."

"Kaidan…" She stared at him a long moment, standing there before her with his head down. She stepped towards him, hands settling on his hips comfortingly. "This isn't forever."

He shook his head, arms encircling her possessively. "You don't know that."

"I'm not going to let you give up your military career over me. It was selfish of me to ask that of you on Horizon." She turned her head to look up at him. "If the Crerar leaves and you're not on it, you'll regret it."

"I won't."

"This is _desertion_, Kaidan, I can't let you do that. You know what will happen to you."

He let out a shuddering breath, burying his face in her neck, holding her tight. "I know that I don't have the strength to leave you again."

Shepard frowned, her eyes closing, hand softly stroking his hair as she turned her head to murmur in his ear. "We've both got a job to do, Kaidan. And this thing that we're up against is bigger than both of us. Bester, you crew, they need you to lead them, the Alliance needs you. They need someone who knows exactly what we're up against with the Reapers. You are strong. You are so strong."

He stepped back from her, meeting her gaze, looking pained and doubtful. He was wavering.

Shepard shook her head, cupping his face in his hands. "When this is all over I am never letting you out of my sight again. I promise you that. But the galaxy needs you to hit the Reapers with the full force of the Alliance behind you or we won't stand a chance. Don't abandon them now."

He lowered his gaze a moment, his brows pulling together. She could almost read his thoughts, running through every scenario, trying to find some way to get everything he wanted. He looked back at her with new resolve, "I'm coming back. I am going to talk to Anderson and I am going to fight beside you. If… if not on the Normandy, if the Crerar won't follow you, then on my own damn ship."

She couldn't help but give him a resigned smile, leaning in to kiss him. "Make it a fleet."

They kissed, arms wrapped about one another, holding close and tight, hanging on for dear life, hesitant to let go. Shepard was the first to withdraw, but it was slow. She closed her eyes, resting her forehead against his as she dropped her arms.

Kaidan's hand rested on her neck, stealing one more kiss before he whispered, "I love you, Jane." It was said with conviction. This parting wasn't forever, and he wasn't letting her go, not completely.

She opened her eyes to see him watching her closely, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I love you, too," she murmured, forcing herself to step back, drawing in a deep breath.

He dropped his gaze when she finally stepped away from him, exhaling and nodding a little. Kaidan bent to pick up his bag and turned to hit the door control panel with the flat of his hand. "I'll see you soon," he said, backing away a few slow, delaying steps. A turn on the heel, another step, and he was gone.

He was gone and it suddenly felt as through someone knocked a hole in Shepard and all her insides were pouring out onto the floor. She rested a hand on the wall, then her elbow, leaning into the wall for support and closing her eyes. God damn. _God damn it. _

That was the right thing, Shepard. She would be damned if she took him away on the run from the Alliance again, this was bigger than Saren and Sovereign. They were on the verge of war. Can't put all your eggs in one basket going up against the Reapers. He wasn't her lieutenant anymore, he was a commander, and a damn good one. Made more sense to have him leading an Alliance assault rather than tag alongside her.

Besides, everything was in flux for her, she didn't even know what her next move was going to be, if she'd have to answer to the Alliance for working with Cerberus, everything was uncertain. She needed one more person on her side out there with the good guys.

_ But none of those is the reason you let him go, is it, Shepard? _

She was quick to answer the voice in her head with another. _Letting him go was the right thing to do, it doesn't matter what my reasons are._

The feelings of two little people didn't matter in the big picture. What they were up against. Of course, all the logic and practicality in the galaxy didn't lessen the sting. Shepard sucked in a deep breath, pushing herself from the wall and stood straight again. The Council was waiting. The Reapers were waiting. It was time to go back to work.

End.

* * *

_**There it is, kids. Thank you all for reading, special thanks to those who took the time to comment, and this round it's claire83, N.Q. Wilder, oohapoo, Commander Alenko, Lord Andreas, bluemarlin, and Commander Kurt. I've been worried that this ending would disappoint some readers, but **_**Casablanca**_** was my starting point, so this was inevitable, that and I've been setting it up the whole time. Tempting as it was to just make it a completely happy ending instead of a bittersweet goodbye. It was really hard to write this last chapter, but I hope at least some of you like it. Thank you so so so much for reading, and I invite you all to check out my other ME story, **_**Sign Ups and Takedowns**_** starring Garrus as Archangel. Less romance, more action, and a REALLY sad ending whenever we get to it. Again, thank you and be well!  
**_


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